I have known Chris practically my entire adult life. Or at least I thought I did.It took three years for us to have a first date and another 18-months for us to live in the same city. And between then and now we had some amazing times. He inspired me to go back to medical school. For a brief moment in time, I had a fantasy that together we could rule medicine. He with the adults, and me with the tiny humans. And for a brief time, our life together was amazing.
Through four years of medical school, things were idyllic. Nobody describes medical school as idyllic, but I did. Living with Chris during medical school was the best of both worlds. I had a long term partner. I had security, And I had kind of a built in professor. His role as adjunct prof at the school he attended was a blessing in disguise.
Even MS-3, which is hard on many levels, was perfect. On the nights I had overnight call, Chris packed me lunch. He made sure I had clean clothes and food to eat. He made studying easy because all I had to worry about was learning. Life was taken care of. Our cat, Tigs, was cared for; I didn’t have to worry about ‘did I feed Tigs’ or did I scoop the poop because Chris did that too.
I matched to my second choice. First choice in programs; second in location.Too far to stay with Chris but not as far as when we started dating.
Intern year was hard. New city. New hospital. Learning a lot. Missing Chris. I got a cat. Her name is Lily.
Chris and I started to grow apart. I always assumed after intern year things would get better. And they did, for a while. But Chris was dealing with his own demons. And he stated shutting me out. My co-resident Taylor and I got closer. Easy to do when you spend all your waking hours together and some of your sleeping hours together too.
Taylor and I were made co-cheif residents our final year of residency. I still talked to Chris, but nothing was the same.
He became someone I used to know and I hardly even knew myself.
