The All-star brake came and went. Justin went to Ontario, and I didn’t. And after that, things just weren’t the same. He stopped coming by the peds hospital in the mornings and I stopped going to the arena after practice. My friend Wendy and I went to the first home game after the break. Justin completely ignored me as if ‘we’ never existed. I was hoping–perhaps foolishly–that we’d be able to pick right back up where we were before the All-Star break. I now see how wrong I was.
“Wow. He really does not like you right now.”
“I know. You’d think I did something really bad instead of just saying no to Canada”
“You know, it wasn’t about Canada.”
“I’m beginning to figure that out. But I mean it really was about Ontario… at least in the beginning. I was angling to go to the Caribbean so Ontario was about the opposite of a warm beach vacay. I didn’t realize at first that Justin wanted me to meet his siblings and his mom. So when I said no to Ontario, Justin thought I was saying no to his family. And no matter what I said after that, Justin was cold. Cold as Canadian ice.
“I don’t even know why I bothered to come to the game tonight. It’s obvious that he no longer wants anything to do with me.”
“You came because you like hockey. And the team is doing really well. And you had free tickets”
“Yeah, you’re right. You remember that kid I was telling you about, Xavier? The one who lost his mom and dad in a MVA.
“You mean the one where the husband murdered his wife in a DUI.”
“Yeah, that’s one way to look at it. Regardless, the little brother died too. Xavier is the only surviving family member. I bonded with that boy and I took it really hard. Like, I saw myself in him and wanted to do anything possible to protect him. But he’s alone in the world–at 10. Well 10 and a half as he like to say. Not many people know what that’s like. And now Xavier is going to grow up without a family. His whole life’s trajectory has changed. Anyway…I put in to be his guardian ad litem. It won’t happen. There’s too much background for me to get cleared in time for Xavier, but maybe in the future….
“Also, I’m taking a leave of absence. I don’t know how long, but with the NICU being off the chain, and Xavier, and now Justin… not to mention all the drama of last year, I just need a break, you know”
“What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?”
“I was thinking Italy. Jeremy always said he was going to take me to Ischia. Maybe it’s time I take myself…”
