“Did you here about Jeremy?”
I’m once again in the ICU at the large hospital where Jermey works for my clinical day. The absolute last thing I want to hear about in anything Jeremy did or didn’t do. But also, I can say none of this. By some miraculous twist of fate, I think I have escaped the association with Jeremy. Like when people inevitably talk about me, although they don’t realize it, I am the foolish one they are referencing.
My patient is unconscious and ventilated. I’m attempting to draw an ABG to assess the ventilation status of our patient, and well, to practice my ABG skills. They are adequate, but I’m not going to lie, I don’t like hurting people. Even if they are unconscious.
My preceptor for the day is one of the ones engaging in the gossip about Jeremy so I can’t help but hear it.
“No, what has that foolish man done this time?’ my preceptor asks. One of the best things about working with this particular preceptor is the fact that she, also, hates Jeremey. Hate may be a strong word. She says he overestimates his abilities and has an exceedingly high opinion of himself. ‘Lord, give me the confidence of a middling white man’; she tells me this should be my mantra whenever I have self-confidence issues. Which is a lot.
“He and that girl from radiology eloped. On April Fools Day.”
“For real? What is her name anyway?”
“Rachel. Isn’t she like 20 or something?”
“I heard they had only been dating a couple of months”
“Wasn’t he dating someone else though, like recently? I never heard that girl’s name, but I’m pretty sure she worked here. You know, the one where his ex tried to kill the girl”
The gossip about Jeremy and Rachel continue, but I hear none of it. After all, what should I chime in. Hi. I’m the one you’re talking about, it’s me. I absolutely can say none of that so I keep my mouth closed. After all, I have a needle in someone else’s arm and can confirm that is one of the worst ways to hear about your recent ex’s elopement.
At least I was sitting down.
Maybe now people will stop talking about me without really talking about me. But how does one move on so quickly? I’m barely hanging on to my sanity, and Jeremy is marrying some girl from radiology.
I am hating my life right now.