International Meet-cute

International meet-cute

“Is this seat open?” The handsome stranger asked in accented English. I made an exception to the ‘don’t talk to strangers rule’. I’m a lot better at being open when I’m 8000 miles from home as opposed to being in my own town.

“Yes”. I replied as he sat down.

“Do you know those people?” He was referring to the three people in my group of 7 who pitched a total fit about sleeping arrangements.

“No. I only joined the group this afternoon. I don’t even know their names.”

A scheduling snafu, or perhaps this is how it’s always done, had me sleeping in a tent with two guys. One–from Hong Kong, who barely spoke English, and the second–the handsome stranger with the accented English who was my current dining companion.

We started chatting, the way travelers do when they first meet someone. “Where are you from?” [Me: the United States; Him: Italy, Milan specifcally]. What do you do when you aren’t traveling? [Me: I’m a RN; Him: journalist] Why are you in Kenya [Me: to teach; him: to explore]. Verbal parrying continued, each trying to suss out whether the other person would make an interesting companion past tonight’s dinner.

Dining Companions

Dinner was a simple meal; white rice and a meat stew on top. I’ve learned not to ask what “kind” of meat is in meat stew. Most often, it’s goat, or chola in Kenya, and while I’ll not be eating any goat in the US, when in Kenya….

After dinner we leave the communal dining room together. Despite the long travel day and our early morning start tomorrow, I’m not quite ready to turn in. I notice you following me to the bonfire. I’m a sucker for a bonfire. Any bonfire. Any where.

After the sun sets, it’s surprisingly chilly. After nearly a month in this country, the nighttime chill shouldn’t surprise me. Yet, it does. Every time. “I’m going to run and get my jacket.” I say to no one in particular, but especially to you so that you won’t leave.

I run back to our shared tent, which seems a lot more intimate than it is, and grab my flannel shirt. That’s what’s been serving as a ‘jacket’ these last few chilly days., and run back out to the bonfire. You are writing in your journal as I quietly take a seat opposite from you. I stare into the fire, somewhat lost in thought, when you blurt out, “What do you think of the state of the world right now?”

Borrowing a line from Harry Potter, I reply, ‘The whole world’s gone topsy-turvy.’ I hope that satisfies you, because the truth of it is, I don’t enjoy discussing politics. Or religion. People generally have forgotten how to have intelligent discourse and disagree without resorting to personal attacks.

“Do you know who the prime minister of Italy is?” he asked.

“I do. Her name in Meloni. Georgia, or something like that.” I can tell you’re impressed. I didn’t volunteer that I’d only just learned that recently due to a listening to podcast. “Most Americans don’t know that” you replied.

“Most Americans don’t know who their own representatives are” I countered.

“You’re not like most Americans” you assess with certainty although we’ve only known each other about 3 hours.

“Well, I try”

Things suddenly got serious. “Well, I don’t know many Italians to compare you to. Italian-Americans, maybe, but actual Italians, not so much.”

You laugh. “What is it with Americans claiming to be “something”-American. No other country does that.”

Now, it’s my turn to laugh. ‘I have no idea. My European ancestors literally came over on the Mayflower 400 years ago. And they were from the UK. I don’t go around saying ‘I’m British-American'”

You laugh again.

The Conversation Turns Serious

“Do you have on-line dating in Italy? Like Tinder?” I don’t know why I ask this.

“Yes. Of course. Why? Are you on it?

“Me? No.”

“Why not?” you ask.

“Well, I was in a relationship for a really long time and now I’m not. But picking someone out and ‘adding to cart’ like an Amazon purchase seems like the wrong way to go about meeting a potential partner. Besides people are superficial. Especially online. No one takes the time to get to know anyone anymore.”

“You mean like this” you ask.

“Yes. Exactly like this. No one in America has time for hours long dinners that lead to chatting around a bonfire for two hours. It’s go-go-go. All the time. And, besides, I don’t like small talk.”

“So what do you like to talk about, then”

“oh you know, ones hopes and dreams and fears. Goals in life. And bears”

“Bears?” you ask questioningly.

“Specifically the coastal Alaskan brown bear. And even more specifically, a bear named Otis” I reply.

You laugh.

“Well tell me about Otis” you say.

And I do. At length. At times, I wonder if I’m following the unwritten dating rules. Or is this an exception since this isn’t really a date. I decided to go with exception and talk way too much about Otis. And Pete. I do not mention my ex. No matter the situation, that’s definitely not an exception. You talk about Italy. And Ukraine. And South Sudan, You avoid mentioning other humans.

Somehow it’s midnight and the fire has almost burned out.

“I suppose we should get some sleep. We’ve got an early start.” I say to myself. And you.. As we walk back to our tent, I feel your hand brush against mine.

A Truly Magical Day

Who the fuck puts on make-up for a safari I thought as I carefully applied eyeshadow. Wait scratch that–Who the fuck BRINGS make-up on a safari. Apparently I do. If this isn’t some irony. A person who rarely wears make in the everyday life is putting on make-up to go on a safari.

Safari ready, make-up and all.

Shortly after our breakfast of beans and toast, we loaded up into our (separate) safari jeeps and set off to chase animals around Amboseli National Park.

It was amazing.

So many elephants.

And flamingos.

And some hippos.

I saw hundreds of zebras.

And giraffes.

I even saw the one animal I really wanted to see

After the safari was over we met back at the campsite and compared stories and animal sightings over dinner. You said it was cute how excited I got over seeing a lion for the first time.

“Better than seeing Otis” you joked. “Only because I’ve never actually seen Otis in person I replied”

“Come with me. I want to show you something even better than Otis. And lions.”

We walk outside, and the full moon is rising over snow-capped Mt. Kilimanjaro. It was an awe inspiring sight.

“I know you said you don’t kiss strangers, but I’ll hope you’ll make an exception. Besides we’re not really strangers anymore, are we? We’ve known each other exactly 26 hours.”

And standing there, in the shadow of Kilimanjaro, with the full moon shining overhead, you kiss me. And then we walk hand in hand back to our shared tent.

Finding your way back to Rome

“They” say if you toss a coin in the fountain, you’ll guarantee your return to Rome.

Everything you ever wanted to know about that famous Roman fountain, including a guaranteed way to get back to Rome… and then some

How did that famous fountain get its name?

The Trevi Fountain stands at the junction of three roads, ceremoniously marking the end point of one of Rome’s earliest aqueducts, Aqua Virgo. It’s location led to it’s rather literal name- Fontana di Trevi means Three Street Fountain. It’s believed the name was derived from the Latin word trivium, which as you might have guessed, means three streets.

History and stuff

Trevi fountain has not always been spectacular. In 1629, Pope Urban VIII was unimpressed with the earlier version of the fountain, claiming it lacked drama. The Pope asked prominent architect and artist, Gian Lorenzo Bernini to design possible renovations for the fountain. The renovations were never completed though, as the project was abandoned when Pope Urban died. Fast forward to 1730 when Pope Clement XII organized a contest with  the winner of this contest being commissioned to redesign the Trevi Fountain. The original winner was Alessandro Galilei, but Romans were outraged that a Florentine had been chosen. To silence the outcry, the second place contestant, Nicola Salvi, was awarded the commission. [Rome and Florence always seem to be testy with each other].

Salvi soon began designing the new fountain around the theme “Taming of the Waters”. Construction began in 1732, with Palazzo Poli serving as a backdrop. The fountain’s facade and sea reef were made from travertine, a form of limestone deposited by mineral springs. The statues were carved from Carrara marble. Unfortunately Salvi would not live to see completion of his masterpiece. After his death in 1751, Giuseppe Pannini took charge of the project, completing the fountain in 1762. The finished fountain would be the largest Baroque fountain in the city- 26.3 meters high and 49.15 meters wide.

 

Want to get back to Rome & What happens to all that money?

Legend has it that if you turn around and toss a penny [eurocent?] into the Trevi Fountain, you’ll find your way back to Rome. Who am I to argue with a legend?

 

When I travel, I like to do all the fun little rituals that promise everything from good luck to falling in love. So like custom dictates, I turned my back to the water and using my right hand, tossed a coin over my left shoulder. There… now I have guaranteed I’ll be finding my way back to Rome at some point in the future! Legend holds, that if you toss in a second coin you’ll fall in love with an Italian. I’ve even heard that throwing in three coins means you will marry an Italian.

Let’s just say I only tossed one coin in the fountain. Falling in love is the last thing I need in my life right now… especially a long distance, international affair.

With all that coin tossing, there is a lot of money that ends up in the fountain! Every night about 3,000 Euros are swept up from the bottom of the basin. The money is donated to Caritas, a catholic charity, who uses the money to provide services for needy families in Rome. Some of the money is used to subsidize a low cost supermarket. So at least you know that Eurocents are going to support a good cause.

 

Chapter 50: We are never getting back together

I’ve been home for a few weeks now. I’m out on disability. A bruised trachea  apparently takes a few weeks to heal. Who knew? The PTSD from being assaulted takes a lot longer. I wonder if I’ll ever feel comfortable seeing patients one-on-one again. I got into psychiatry because of Chris. At the time, I didn’t realize it. But when I was deciding on my speciality, I think subconsciously I thought if I understood Chris better, I could save our relationship. Now, I know that the end wasn’t really about me. Chris had/ has his own demons and until he faces them, he’s never going be able to love someone.

One of the last conversations I had with Chris–when I thought that we still had a chance– was him saying to me “Do you have any idea how much I hate myself?” And I didn’t. How could I? I have moments of self-doubt, low self-esteem, and moments when I question myself, and call myself an idiot, but hate myself? Never.

I try to call out for Lily. My voice is still scratchy and doesn’t sound like me. I refill my mug of hot tea and return to the couch. I resume journaling. What can I say? How do I process this? A patient–a psychotic, methed-out, patient– tried to kill me with his bare hands. Chris also once tried to kill me once with his bare hands. He was in the midst of a PTSD flashback and didn’t really have the strength to do anything. But waking up with an arm across my trachea was a rude awakening. Literally…

My patient, however, had the strength of 1000 humans and if my co-workers hadn’t been there. . . or if I’d been in my office . . . well, I wouldn’t be here at all.

Originally, I had thought to do child and adolescent psychiatry. It was a more natural transition for someone who had always worked in pediatrics. I’ve recently applied for a C&A fellowship. I know I wish I had had someone like me when I was a kid.

I think it’s time to start a new chapter in life. If I get the fellowship I’ve applied for, I’ll move across the country. To Seattle. Far away from Chris. Far away from the memories. I met Chris when I was 23 years old. He’s been a larger than life presence in my life almost my entire adult life. I am 36 years old. I think it’s time for me to move on from Chris. And if I need to move across the country to do it, then I guess that’s what I’ll do. Chris and I are never getting back together and it’s time I close the book on the story of us.

Chapter 49: Breathe

I keep my eyes closed. I think I’m in a hospital bed, but how did I get here? “Eliza, are you awake?”

I try to move my foot. I think it moves, but I have no way to tell

The voice is familiar, but I can’t quite place it. It sounds friendly. Maybe I should open my eyes to see who is calling my name.

I slowly open one eye and then the other. The face with the voice is fuzzy, but the first thing that comes into focus is green eyes. I immediately know who is at my bedside, but I wonder why? Do I have amnesia or something?

“Don’t try to speak. You have a bruised trachea. And you were intubated in the ER. Do you remember what happened?

I wonder what he means. Do I remember why we aren’t together anymore? Oh yeah, I definitely remember walking in on him fucking my co-worker. Do I remember what led me to be in the hospital with a bruised trachea? Not exactly.

I just shake my head no–just to be safe.

“I don’t know all the details as I wasn’t there, but best I can tell is a patient attacked you while you were seeing him. Several of your co-workers saved your life by charging him and pulling him off of you. He had you by the neck and you’d had already gone unconscious”

Huh…that might be why my memory is a little fuzzy on that. It still didn’t answer the question of why Chris was here instead of oh literally anyone else. One thing about us when we were together is that we could read each other like words on a page. I guess he still can.

“Why am I here?” I nodded. “I guess you never changed your emergency contact information and someone from the hospital called me. When I realized how serious it was, I came over. I’m sorry I don’t have your parents number anymore. I tried calling your number hoping I could get into your phone that way, but I guess you’ve changed your number. And password.

Damn straight buddy. I would have been content to never see you again. And you better believe that I’ll get right on that emergency contact update. As soon as I can.

I couldn’t speak and he didn’t speak for what seemed like the longest time.

“I’m sorry for what I did to you. You deserve better than what I did. You literally saved my life–more than once– literally and figuratively. I am a piece of shit for doing what I did. But never in my life have I been the popular kid at school and you were so busy with school and.residency. When she started being friendly with me, at first I didn’t know what was happening. It was kinda like when you and I began our friendship. You were dating other people so I didn’t know that you were in to me like that. And by the time I realized what was happening with her, it was too late. I didn’t want you to have to find out like that.”

I just stared up at the ceiling. I’m guessing crying with a bruised trachea is not the best idea, but I know if I look over at him, I’ll start to cry. He may be damn near 50 years old, but he still looks like a little kid I briefly wonder if he’s still with that hussy.

He read that thought too.

“I’m not married. Or dating anyone. I don’t think that’s in the cards for me anymore. I think I missed my chance. With you. You are the one that got away.

Here’s one time I wish I could speak, but I can’t so maybe he can telepathically read my thoughts. You told me about a million times that I was the love of your life. I still have in in cards, emails and texts.. You told me I saved you… I brought you back to life.. You said all the things I wanted to hear, and you made me fall in love with you. You encouraged my dreams and goals like no one ever had. I believed you and you made me believe that we had it all when in fact, you were just like most every one else.

When things got difficult, you got out. You may not have meant to get out. I’m quite certain if I hadn’t caught you, you never would have said anything. Better to not know that you are a cheating SOB or find out by seeing it with my own eyes..

“You really were the love of my life, Eliza, and I’m so incredibly sorry I fucked it all up.

I focused my gaze anywhere but his and remained painfully still because any reaction to this I’m just not sure I could control.

The Killers: Be Still

Chapter 48: You’re losing me

The room starts fading to black.

Voices start to muffle.

I feel the noose tightening around my neck.

Nothing makes sense.

I feel someone tugging at my waist.

I am flying

Then everything fades to black.

*************. ************* ********** *************

It’s hard to swallow Everything hurts. The room is too bright. The incessant beeping is much too loud. I feel like I’m going to vomit. But I can’t. Something is in my mouth. I try to get it out. My hands won’t move.

“She’s awake” I hear.

I hear a bustle of activity. A warm feeling comes over me. Everything fades to black.

**********. ********** **********. **********. **********

I have no idea what time it is–whether it is day or night. I’m unsure of where I am. I don’t want to go unconscious again so I keep my eyes closed. I don’t try to move lest the beeping starts again.

Happy Peace Corps Day

I bet you didn’t even know there was such a thing, did you? I didn’t, at least not until I was actually a PCV.

The beginnings

On this day, 60 years ago, John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps. All over the world Peace Corps staff and Volunteers celebrate March 1st as Peace Corps Day.

My official start day with Peace Corps was June 4, 2018. The question I get the most is –What is Peace Corps’ Life like? 

To be honest, some days drag on forever. I’m convinced that I’m living life in a time warp where time moves in reverse. But surprisingly, the weeks move rather quickly. Often when I’m bogged down in a day, I think to myself ‘just get through the day and it’s one step closer to COS’. Then it’s Friday, and I’m amazed at how quickly the week has passed.

As it turns out, despite the fact that I have a lot of skills, even life-saving skills, these are not necessarily the skills the Peace Corps’ wants nor are they the skills my community wants. Peace Corps’ or at least Peace Corps’ Rwanda is transitioning from the ‘strong backs’ building projects to the PC buzz ward of ‘capacity building.’ However, in a community that has had previous volunteers [at least one since PC returned to Rwanda] build things, many can’t get past the fact that I’m not going to be participating in any building projects which is somewhat ironic considering I spent my time at home ‘building things’]

She is certainly ‘doing’.

I applied to Peace Corps because I wanted to be a PCV. If that seems simple, it’s because it is. PCVs are a special breed of people. There is no other organization that does what we do and lives how we live. It’s challenging, and it’s awesome, but sometimes it sucks. I’m awesome for enduring the ‘sucky’ parts when I know I have a complete life waiting for me in America.

Reflections

I’d be more modest, but it’s Peace Corps Day and I’m a PCV even if I am not actively serving. So let me reflect on my life as a  Volunteer.

  • Little by little, I learned another language and spoke it on a daily basis [a language that I’ll most likely never speak again, but still]. I brought new ideas into a rural community. I taught basic first aid to school children and their teachers. I’ve helped combat childhood malnutrition, and a host of other childhood diseases. I made amazing friends. On a more introspective note, I learned to be more patient and to think critically when things did not go as planned [and things rarely go as planned]. I integrated into a new culture, took on new customs, and ate food I never knew existed. In the Peace Corps, I lived a completely different life, and how many people can say they’ve done that? I’m a new person, really. I even changed my name to fit in. It was so damn hard in the beginning, but the Peace Corps wouldn’t be the Peace Corps if it was comfortable or easy.

Next Steps

Oh, and did I mention that I applied for grad school while in the Peace Corps? Because I did. It’s not easy to study for the GRE from underneath a mosquito net while mentally blocking out the screeching of the roosters or the moo-ing of cows, and with the electricity cutting in and out. Or prepare oneself for said program by learning all the ‘common’ medical things’ I’ve forgotten while I’m here. But I did it. One day at a time. 

And even more exciting is that I got accepted to a graduate program in a field I am truly interested in.

To be honest, I haven’t done much to celebrate today. After all, I don’t feel much like a PCV these days. Today Iwoke up late with the kitties snuggled by my side. I did a load of laundry in the machine. I went out for pizza with American friends. We drove around the city in my car. I spoke exclusively in English. 

Being a Peace Corps Volunteer is something that I wanted to do for a long time. I am glad I did it, but I’m also glad it’s over.

Finally Peace Corps Volunteers at last. My best PC friend and me–at our swearing in ceremony in August.
photo credit Kerong Kelly

Happy Peace Corps Day

I bet you didn’t even know there was such a thing, did you? I didn’t, at least not until I was actually a PCV.

The beginnings

On this day, 60 years ago, John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps. All over the world  Peace Corps staff and Volunteers celebrate March 1st as Peace Corps Day.

The question I get the most is –What is Peace Corps’ Life like? 

To be honest, some days drag on forever. I’m convinced that I’m living life in a time warp where time moves in reverse. But surprisingly, the weeks move rather quickly. Often when I’m bogged down in a day, I think to myself ‘just get through the day and it’s one step closer to COS’. Then it’s Friday, and I’m amazed at how quickly the week has passed.

Being a PCV is [was] but a chapter in life, and as I have found out, the world of policy development is not where I belong. I enjoy ‘doing’ much more than ‘talking about’ or ‘planning’. I truly can’t wait until I start the next chapter of life. Becoming an Nurse Practitioner has a lot of doing involved.

As it turns out, despite the fact that I have a lot of skills, even life-saving skills, these are not necessarily the skills the Peace Corps’ wants nor are they the skills my community wants. Peace Corps’ or at least Peace Corps’ Rwanda is transitioning from the ‘strong backs’ building projects to the PC buzz ward of ‘capacity building.’ However, in a community that has had previous volunteers [at least one since PC returned to Rwanda] build things, many can’t get past the fact that I’m not going to be participating in any building projects [which is somewhat ironic considering I spent my time at home ‘building things’]

She is certainly ‘doing’.

I applied to Peace Corps because I wanted to be a PCV. If that seems simple, it’s because it is. PCVs are a special breed of people. There is no other organization that does what we do and lives how we live. It’s challenging, and it’s awesome, but sometimes it sucks. I’m awesome for enduring the ‘sucky’ parts when I know I have a complete life waiting for me in America.

Reflections

I’d be more modest, but it’s Peace Corps Day and I’m a PCV even if I am not actively serving. So let me reflect on my life as a  Volunteer.

Little by little, I learned another language and spoke it on a daily basis [a language that I’ll most likely never speak again, but still]. I brought new ideas into a rural community. I taught basic first aid to school children and their teachers. I’ve helped combat childhood malnutrition, and a host of other childhood diseases. I made amazing friends.

On a more introspective note, I learned to be more patient and to think critically when things did not go as planned [and things rarely go as planned]. I integrated into a new culture, took on new customs, and ate food I never knew existed. In the Peace Corps, I lived a completely different life, and how many people can say they’ve done that? I’m a new person, really. I even changed my name to fit in. It was so damn hard in the beginning, but the Peace Corps wouldn’t be the Peace Corps if it was comfortable or easy.

Next Steps

Oh, and did I mention that I applied for grad school while in the Peace Corps?  Because I did. It’s not easy to study for the GRE from underneath a mosquito net while mentally blocking out the screeching of the roosters or the moo-ing of cows, and  with the electricity cutting in and out. Or prepare oneself for said program by learning all the ‘common’ medical things I’ve forgotten while I’m here. But I did it. One day at a time. 

And even more exciting is that I got accepted to a graduate program in a field I am truly interested in.

To be honest, I haven’t done much to celebrate today. After all, I don’t feel much like a PCV these days. Today  I woke up late with the kitties snuggled by my side. I did a load of laundry in the machine. I went out for pizza with American friends. We drove around the city in my car. I spoke exclusively in English. 

Being a Peace Corps Volunteer is something that I wanted to do for a long time. I am glad I did it, but I’m also glad it’s over.

Finally Peace Corps Volunteers at last. My best PC friend and me–at our swearing in ceremony in August. photo credit Kerong Kelly

The Peace Corps hasn’t always been held in positive regard. Frank Zappa wrote Who Needs the Peace Corps way back in the day.

Museums of Broken Relationships

2018 Michelle here:  This museum I found in Zagreb, Croatia is perhaps one of the more interesting museums I’ve ever been in [The Sex Museum in Naples is another].  While Zagreb is no uber charming city, this museum had me enthralled.  The end of a relationship is always a trying time for everyone involved even if it’s just a ‘whew, I dodged that bullet’ thought. But I’ve never thought of putting my relationship detritus in a museum for other to look at.  Let this be a reminder that atypical museums can be some of the more educational/informative/pleasurable.


A break-up is like a broken mirror:  it’s better to leave it alone than to hurt yourself picking up the pieces.

His name was Michael. Today is his birthday. I shouldn’t remember that, but I do. When we met he was 32, and I was 24. We met at work.  I loved his sense of humour and he loved my adventurous spirit.  We were friends first.  Nearly a year, before anything more than friendly happened.  But as is often the case between men and women, something did happen.  I practically dared him to kiss me, and when he did, it was as if time stood still. July 19, 2004 …after lunch. The kiss lasted exactly 42 seconds.  I know because I had a digital atomic clock on the wall in my office. The kiss touched every neuron in my body, and for the first time in my life, I felt alive.

I named him “Nobody” and he called me “Girl. ”  If people asked me who I was dating, and they did because people love to meddle in the affairs of others, I’d say “Nobody.” If people asked him who he was seeing, he’d say “Just some girl.”  It was our secret, and it was exciting.

We carried on our secret affair for 18 months –until I moved away… co-workers weren’t supposed to date. And even after moving to a different state, the thought of him was like a drug.  We were like addicts addicted to each other; couldn’t stay away, yet couldn’t get enough.

broken relationship 4

The first step in recovering from an addiction is admitting that there is a problem, and oh boy, there was.  Michael was as strong as any drug I’d ever encountered, and willpower alone wasn’t enough to make me quit him.  Over time I came to rely on a power greater than myself and contact with Michael became more and more sparse.  Withdrawal is a painful master. There was physical pain. There was emotional pain. There were tears.

broken relationship 5
There were no stuffed worms. No legs were broken in this break-up.


The last conversation I had with him was right before I left for Moscow.  He said “you always did want to go places.” and I said “I will always love you, but this will be the last time I tell you that.”  And I haven’t had contact with him since.  After returning from Moscow, I wanted to call him.  I wanted to tell him all the amazing adventures I had.  Instead, I got a cat. I named her Lily. She was a sweet cat.

Lily helped me heal.

I still have a post card he gave me. And ticket stubs for various events. And a necklace. And various little notes.  What can I say, I’m a sentimental soul.

broken relationships 1

I knew before I went to Zagreb that I wanted to go to the museum of broken relationships. I find it  fascinating to see what people keep as mementos from relationships.  Not every relationship ends on a sour note.  Some have other obstacles that time just could not overcome.  Some just aren’t meant to be.  Some exist solely to prepare you for the future.  Michael was not my first boyfriend, but he was my first love, and without that relationship, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I’ve held on to the mementos of the relationship with Michael for 15 years, and karma, good energy, and such being what it is, it’s time to release that energy into the universe. Good bye Michael.


PS...I have a slight confession to make.  One time I was dating this guy.  His name was James. Now I knew that the relationship with James was never going to be long-term, but he was ummm, fun, and I had recently broken up with a cheating bastard I caught with another woman.  I made James brownies for his birthday. I left them on the kitchen table with a ‘Happy Birthday’ note. I came over the next day to find everything in the trash. I was pissed to say the least. Livid. Irate. Incensed. A seething cauldron of raging fumes; you get the idea. He was being such an ass. I went to the local World Market, bought a bottle of cheap $7 Il Bastardo wine, and switched it out for his fancy $200 bottle of French Bordeaux.  My friend and I drank the rich, velvet wine while sitting in her hot tub cursing all the shallow men in the world.  I still feel no shame in taking Il Bastardo’s prized bottle of red wine.

In retrospect, the Il Bastardo was still probably pretty good.  After all it comes from Tuscany and is a Sangiovese so probably still good. I really would have like to have smashed Il Bastardo over the bastard’s head, but I got my revenge in other ways that even though the statute of limitations has passed, I’ll still keep my mouth shut because some things are just better left unsaid [or in this case… things are better left un-typed].

at least no axes were ever involved in any of my break-ups

PPS…Names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent…Except Il Bastardo.

PPPS...If I dated women, I’d totally give every.single.one I ever broke up with this bar of chocolate.

broken relationship 6

My Favourtite European Cities

I have traveled a lot. Not as much as some, but a lot more than most of the people I deal with on a daily basis. I often get asked what’s my favorite city/country area, and it’s hard to say.  Sometimes it depends on my mood.  Sometimes it depends on the reason they are asking.  So, I’ve come up with a list to answer what’s my favorite.  OK two lists:  one for smaller cities and one for European capitals.

First up, my favorite European cities.

  1.  Kotor, Montenegro
  2.  Belgrade, Serbia
  3.  St. Petersburg, Russia
  4.  Krakow, Poland
  5.  Bwets-y-Coed, Wales
  6. Cardiff, Wales
  7. Quedlinberg, Germany

Next, my favorite European capitals.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that, in general, I don’t love large cities. Luckily for me, some of Europe’s capital cities are quite small.  Europe is so diverse and every country is so different that it is often impossible to make fair comparisons.

 London, England

 

I have been to London 5 times, but only in the last two years have I gotten out and truly explored the city.  I have barely cracked the surface, and there is so much more to explore. I am absolutely head over heels for it. If I could magically get a work visa and a job offer in London [not sure if the NHS hires foreigners or if I’d want to work there, but I digress], I would move there tomorrow; that’s how much I love it. I’ve never pictured myself living in a big city — until I finally explored London for the first time.

Things I love about London:

    • The variety — neighborhoods, food,  museums, parks, historical sites; they’re all here
    • The location — London is situated perfectly to explore Europe, which this traveler loves.  The only time I haven’t flown into London for a European holiday was when I solely toured Italy.
    • The Englishness — the Tube, the castles, the red  double decker buses, the black cabs, the pubs, the tea… it’s all so quintessential English!

Berlin, Germany

At the Olympic Stadium in Berlin

 

 

Berlin doesn’t get the attention than Munich or Bavaria does, but that’s OK by me…  I’ve never been one to fall for surface flashiness, and on the surface Berlin is grungy, but it’s OK.  I’m not ashamed to admit it: I am in love with Berlin.  You could actually say that it was love at first sight, as I felt an immediate connection with Berlin from the moment I arrived. I don’t know if it’s the alternative culture, the history, or a mixture of the two that draws me to Berlin. But there’s no denying that it’s a place I can see myself spending a lot of time in in the future.

Things I love about Berlin:

    • The history — from Nazis during WWII to the  Berlin Wall during the Cold War, Berlin has a fascinating (and very recent) history
    • The creative side — because I have a soft spot for hipsters and street art
    • The vibe — it’s a little gritty and a little alternative, but Berlin is evolving in a way that I find very  exciting.

Budapest, Hungary

August 2015–Danube River–basking in the summer moonlight

I never planned to go to Budapest at least not the first time, but a cheap flight  from Geneva on EasyJet had me landing there one  January afternoon, and my oh my was is bone-chillingly cold.  The capital of Hungary was a bit of a surprise for me — I never expected to like it as much as I did. But, whether it was strolling along the Danube, visiting the Semmelweis Museum, or soaking at the Szecheni Baths while watching snow fall,  I found myself loving everything about Budapest. It’s also seriously awesome ( and hot!) in the summer.

Things I love about Budapest:

    • The two halves of the city — the Buda and Pest sides of the city have completely different feels to them.
    • The bridges — which are attractive and offer up nice views of the Danube.
    • The buildings — from Parliament to Fisherman’s Bastion to Buda Castle, there’s plenty of amazing architecture here to view.

Edinburgh, Scotland

 

The capital of Scotland is one city that I probably will never tire of visiting. It’s not a large capital like the others listed here, but it still has a unique character all its own. Whether it’s roaming around the Old Town or climbing up to quieter parts like Calton Hill, Edinburgh is always enjoyable — even in that unpredictable Scottish weather.

Things I love about Edinburgh:

    • The architecture — with the gorgeous Victoria Street being my favorite example
    • The history — the entire city is recognized by UNESCO, which tells you something
    • The people– Scottish people are a treasure

Cardiff, Wales

Cardiff Castle–Cardiff is home of the 2017 champions league and the Welsh dragon is guarding the trophy.

Cardiff, the smallest capital in the UK doesn’t get near as much attention as London, Dublin, or even Edinburgh, but it’s still pretty amazing. Only two hours by train from London, and 45 minutes to Bristol, you can easily get to a bigger city quickly if the small town feel of Cardiff starts to get to you.

Things I love about Cardiff:

  • The size–For a capital city, Cardiff is small.  And that makes it easy to navigate. And that makes me happy.
  • It’s location–Cardiff is perched on a river, quite close to the Atlantic Ocean, and on the Wales Coast Path.  Coastal Welsh weather is unpredictable, but on nice days, Cardiff is close enough to the beach to make an afternoon of it.
  • The Language–Welsh is a language I’ll probably never master, but I love that every single sign is in both Welsh and English.  The history and architecture are pretty great too.

It’s no secret that I prefer small cities to large ones, but this list is a good mix of both large cities and small villages.

 

2020 was weird

2020 was an ummmm unusual year to say the least. It’s the first year in some time that I haven’t left the country. I’ve only traveled more than 250 miles from my home one time [and that was pre-corona-v]. A global pandemic continues to ravage the world with only some people believing its real. [spoiler alert: it’s real] And for the first time, I tried a no-spend month challenge and failed miserably by buying a new car. So clearly the portal to another dimension is still open.

                                          An old-fashioned pandemic to celebrate the ‘year of the nurse.’
Corona V

In late 2019, a seemingly random virus jumped yet again from birds to humans. This has happened before–even recently– with SARS, MERS, bird flu, ect, and while dangerous, none of these were globally devastating. In late February, while in DC, my friend and I visited one of the best, most authentic Chinese restaurants in the city. [I was reunited with the magical green beans that I discovered in the authentic Chinese restaurant in Rwanda of all places]. My friend Taylor remarked that normal Friday nights always result in a wait for a table. I mused that our reason for being able to waltz right in was this new “Wuhan virus”, and people boycotting all things Chinese.

                                                                          All the heavenly foods
The Spring

Fast forward a mere three weeks later and the virus now known as Coronavirus, Covid-19, corona, ‘the rona’, or the official name SARS CO-V 2, arrived to the US in numbers large enough to cause ‘lockdown phase 1’. To be honest, lockdown did not affect me too much. As an ‘essential health care worker’, I still had to go to work each shift; as a non-parent, the sudden switch to e-learning did not affect me other than my own grad school program transitioning to fully on-line. In-person dining in restaurants ceased, but I rarely ate out and takeaway was still available. Grocery stores also remained open as did home improvement stores. Other than one canceled trip to Knoxville and my local YMCA closing, my spring was the exact same minus Corona-V popping up.

                                     My official travel papers had my driving around just as I did pre-lockdown.

At first, the governor closed schools until March 31, the April 15, then April 30, then finally for the entire school year. People protested the cancelation of proms, spring sports, and in-person graduations (all to be fair, our state’s largest school district STILL had in person graduation). I started some small projects around the house and lovingly called them quarantine projects. I lost count after #5, but think I’m up to 8 or 9 [and still going].

                                                                    Quarantine Projects
The Summer

By summer, many people were thinking corona-v was on her way out. Non-essential stores had re-opened, restaurants and bars could serve in person again, and some people were back in their offices. And that’s when corona-v showed up on my doorstep. Obviously, I didn’t die, but I was as sick as I ever remember being. I had high fevers [>103], difficulty breathing, shortness of breath, and a distinct lack of appetite, ect. It was touch and go for about two weeks, and I’m still not at pre-corona-v fitness levels.

I planned a socially-distanced vacation with my decidedly non-socially distancing parents and it was— definitely different. It’s very weird to see generational difference play out before ones very eyes. I’m grateful it was to a small beach town instead of say Charleston or Myrtle Beach.

                                                          Socially distant swings on Tybee Beach

Also more drama concerning schools re-opening, virtually, partially, not at all, full-time, or some variation of all. All I can say is I’m glad I’m not a parent or teacher.

The Fall

Elections happened as they do every other year on the first Tuesday in November, yet even on December 1 we are still talking about it since the out-going president refuses to believe the results. As a result of said elections, I’ve promised to stop avoiding Atlanta like the plague and eschew Charleston for Savannah (not overly difficult as Charleston and I have a complicated relationship).

Corona-V is kicking up her heels again and overwhelming my friends in medicine despite Moderna, Pfizer, and Astra-Zenica all making [at this point] extremely competent vaccines. As a health care worker, I’ll probably be in the first batch of people to receive and since I’ve been vaccinated against nearly everything under the sun, and haven’t turned to Frankenstein yet, I’ll most likely sign up to be injected.

                                                                              Vaccinated.

When future historians write the chapter about 2020, it will definitely be one of the more unbelievable 10 months in history.

Ok. hear me out. I heard this song exactly once and I about died laughing. If it isn’t an exact musical representation of 2020, idk what is… here’s low-key fuck 2020 by Avenue Beat