Welcome to On Sunday Morning. I’m the voice behind the blog and the person behind the camera. I’m an eager explorer, wannabe writer, capable chef, creative conversationalist, aging athlete, and proficient photographer. Queer in its original meaning is an apt adjective to describe me. I even have a day job working in healthcare. Social media is making us sad; let’s go for a walk somewhere together or trade tales around a campfire.
"I'm a big believer in winging it. I'm a big believer that you're never going to find perfect city travel experience or the perfect meal without a constant willingness to experience a bad one. Letting the happy accident happen is what a lot of vacation itineraries miss, I think, and I'm always trying to push people to allow those things to happen rather than stick to some rigid itinerary."
2018 Michelle checking in here: The electric shower is a scary occurrence in several areas of central/south America. One one hand, I’m grateful for hot, flowing water; on the other hand, I was seriously scared for my life. BUT figuring out how to work this calamity was one of my greater travel achievements. I don’t think there will be electric showers in Rwanda, but if there are, it’s OK. I’ve figured that out once before.
The shower in my hostel in Bogotá. It’s a toss-up: You may get clean; you may die
Either this was such a traumatic experience for me before that I’ve put it out of my memory or this is some Colombian designed torture device; this is what greeted me the morning after my arrival to Bogotá.
It’s a large electrical time bomb hanging above my head; luckily all the ends of the electrical wires were covered in electrical tape. I have since found out that this is not always true nor is this device confined to Colombia.
5 steps to surviving an electric shower
Is it high enough so that you will not hit your head? I’ve had problems with showers before that were mounted for people no taller than 5 feet tall. Luckily, all the electrical showers I’ve encountered are way up there out of the way of an errant splash.
Are there any bare wires that could come in contact with water? Did you bring electrical tape? If not, a wash cloth and the sink might be the best option.
Get naked. Do your thing, and get out. If you have rubber soled sandals, wear them. This is not the time to reminisce about the day. Chances are the water won’t be at optimum temperature anyway. The only way I’ve found to control the temperature of the water is to control the flow of the water. There’s a science-y explanation for this but essentially the water needs time to roll through the metal plumbing to heat it up before it before comes out. So you can have warm water flowing like maple syrup in winter or cold water flowing like a fire hydrant. But not both. Your choice.
If the pop off valve does indeed pop off– DO. NOT. SCREAM. Like I did the first time this happened to me. Uninvited visitors will show up and cause some slight embarrassment. It is supposed to keep water from spraying up into the wires which could save your life,. However, I have found that they just pop off whenever they feel like it.
Yay! You are clean, but also soaking wet. How to turn off the faucet? You will only reach for the metal knobs once before muscle memory kicks in and you will remember why you never want to do in again. Nobody in these parts have ever heard of grounding wires. My suggestion is to have a small towel–hand towel sized–that you use for turning off the knobs.
No need to fear the electrical, non-grounded shower. I, like several before me have survived; you can survive it too.
In about six weeks, I am headed for a shit-hole… if one listens to the current president. This presents somewhat of a dilemma because why would one voluntarily give up life ‘in the best country in the world’ to go live and work in a ‘shit-hole’ country? Call me crazy I guess. Some of these countries are struggling right now. Some of them are facing poverty, famine, war, natural disasters, and political strife, but all of the countries on this list are home to citizens who deserve respect and who deserve to be treated without assumption, judgement, or insult. All of them are countries of origin of regular people who are trying their best – either in their home countries or as immigrants – to survive, work hard, contribute to society, and make their lives and the lives of their loved ones happier and healthier.
Of course, I’m not yet there, and of course, my opinion could align with the president, but from everything I’ve heard and read Madagascar is an amazing place with amazing people, incredible biodiversity, and I will truly be lucky to serve on the Great Red Island.
The Peace Corps has three goals, one of which is to promote friendship among Americans and the national of the countries they serve, and thanks to the president, he has made my job infinitely harder.
So, in alphabetical order, here are a few countries whose citizens do not come from shit-hole countries.
Afghanistan
*Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Antigua and Barbados
*Argentina
Armenia
Australia
Austria
Azerbaijan
The Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus
Belgium
*Belize
Benin
Bhutan
*Bolivia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
*Brazil
Burundi
Brunei
Bulgaria
*Burkina Faso
Cabo Verde
Cambodia
Cameroon
Canada
*Central African Republic
*Chad
*Chile
*China
*Colombia
Comoros
*Costa Rica
Cote d’Ivorie
Crotia
Cuba
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Denmark
Djibouti
*Dominican Republic
Democratic Republic of Congo
Dominica
*Ecuador
Egypt
England
*El Salvador
Eritrea
Estonia
Ethiopia
Equatorial Guinea
Finland
France
*French Guiana
Fiji
Gabon
*The Gambia
*Georgia
Germany
Ghana
Greece
Grenada
*Guatemala
Guinea
*Guinea-Bissau
*Guyana
*Haiti
*Honduras
Hungary
Iceland
*India
*Indonesia
Ireland
Iran
Iraq
Israel
Italy
*Jamaica
Japan
*Jordan
*Kazakhstan
*Kenya
Kiribati
Kosovo
Kuwait
*Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Latvia
Lebanon
*Lesotho
Liberia
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxomberg
Macedonia
*Madagascar
Malaysia
*Mali
*Malawi
The Maldives
Malta
Marshall Islands
Mauritania
Mauritius
*Mexico
Micronesia
Moldova
Monaco
*Mongolia
Montenegro
*Morocco
*Mozambique
*Namibia
Nauru
*Nepal
The Netherlands
New Zealand
*Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
North Korea
Northern Ireland
Norway
Oman
*Pakistan
Palau
Palestine
*Panama
Papua New Guinea
*Paraguay
*Peru
The Philippines
Poland
Portugal
Qatar
*Republic of the Congo
Romania
*Russia
*Rwanda
Samoa
San Marino
São Tomé and Príncipe
Saudi Arabia
Serbia
Sierra Leon
*Senegal
The Seychelles
Singapore
Slovakia
Slovenia
Solomon Islands
*Somalia
*South Africa
South Korea
South Sudan
Spain
Sri Lanka
St Kitt’s and Nevis
St Lucia
St Vincent and the Grenadines
*Sudan
*Suriname
*Swaziland
Sweden
Switzerland
Syria
Taiwan
*Tajikistan
*Tanzania
*Thailand
*Timor-Leste
Togo
Tonga
Trinidad and Tobago
*Tunisia
*Turkey
*Turkmenistan
Tuvalu
*Uganda
*Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
*Uruguay
*Uzbekistan
*Vanuatu
Vatican City State
*Venezuela
Vietnam
Yemen
*Zambia
*Zimbabwe
and last but certainly not least,
The United States of America
A different era
We Are the World written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and sung by literally every well-known American singer in the 1980’s. Pop rock, heavy metal, country–all genres came together to help raise money for the famines in East Africa–particularly Ethiopia. It reminds me [I was a young child and have vague memories of singing this song in like kindergarten or 1st grade] of a time when we looked out for each other instead of calling them shit-hole countries.
First up in my orgy of medical museums and such is the Semmelweis Museum in Budapest, Hungary. I feel bad for Semmelweis. He made a major medical discovery, yet couldn’t explain it, so all his colleagues mocked him mercilessly, and then he died… a broken man. Only to have his discovery proven right a few short years later. He is one of the reasons we do a 2-minute scrub prior to entering surgical delivery rooms.
Here it is: my ode to Semmelweis and his discovery of germs…
I wrote a poem
It’s a tiny little thing; it’s hardly ever seen.
But once inside, it can turn you green.
Germs are many; treatments are few
For many years no one knew
What they were or their effects
Sickness was caused by air or a hex
Then Semmelweis figured it out
“Wash your hands” he wanted to shout.
But no one listened; no one cared
And no one cared how patients fared
A crusade against the little beasts he undertook
He gave speeches; he wrote a book
When he died he was outcast
But twenty years later, a hero he was–at last
Today entire classes are taught how to wash their hands
To wash away beasts tinier than a grain of sand
Semmelweis is the hero; he’s the man
Except to the microbes; talk of him in banned
a little bit of history
Semmelweis was a Hungarian doctor teaching medicine in Vienna. He noticed that the [male medical] students moved between the dissection room and the delivery room without washing their hands and their patients had a death rate of over 30%. [Oh, the infection control police at the hospital would be horrified] while the midwives’ patients, who didn’t do dissections, had a death rate of only about 2%. On a hunch, he set up a policy. Effective immediately, doctors must wash their hands in a chlorine solution when they leave the cadavers. Mortality from puerperal fever [aka childbirth fever] promptly drops to three percent and further drops to 1% after physicians began cleaning instruments in the same solution they washed their hands.
The museum is also a medical history museum
Now here’s the part of the story where things grow strange. Instead of reporting his success at a meeting, Semmelweis tells his boss, but his boss orders him to ‘stand down’. Semmelweis says nothing. Finally, a friend publishes two papers on the method. By now, Semmelweis has started washing medical instruments as well as hands.
The hospital director feels his leadership has been criticized [by Semmelweis]. He’s furious. Livid. Beyond angry. He blocks Semmelweis’s promotion. The situation gets worse. Viennese doctors turn on this Hungarian immigrant. They run him out of town. Finally, he goes back home to Budapest. He is an outcast among the “civilized” Austrian medical community. He brings his hand washing methods to a far more primitive hospital, and cuts death by puerperal fever to less than one percent. And he systematically isolates causes of death. He autopsies victims. He sets up control groups, and studies statistics. His has it all figured out.
Finally, in 1861, he writes a book on his methods. The establishment gives it poor reviews. Semmelweis grows angry and polemical. He hurts his own cause with rage and frustration. He calls his colleagues idiots and ignoramuses. Semmelweis bashes their stupidity. He turned every conversation to the topic of child-bed fever.
The beginning of the end
After a number of unfavorable foreign reviews of his 1861 book, Semmelweis lashed out against his critics in a series of Open Letters. They were addressed to various prominent European obstetricians, including Spath, Scanzonia, Siebold, and to “all obstetricians”. They were full of bitterness, desperation, and fury and were “highly polemical and superlatively offensive” at times denouncing his critics as irresponsible murderers. He also called upon Siebold to arrange a meeting of German obstetricians somewhere in Germany to provide a forum for discussions on puerperal fever where he would stay “until all have been converted to his theory.”
By mid-1865, his public behavior became irritating and embarrassing to his associates. He also began to drink heavily; he spent progressively more time away from his family, sometimes in the company of prostitutes. His wife noticed changes in his sexual behavior. On July 13, 1865 the Semmelweis family visited friends, and during the visit Semmelweis’s behavior seemed particularly inappropriate.
Later in 1865 he suffers a mental breakdown. Friends commit him to a mental institution. Semmelweis surmised what was happening and tried to leave. He was severely beaten by several guards. He was put in straitjacket and confined to a darkened cell. Apart from the straitjacket, treatments at the mental institution included dousing with cold water and administering castor oil. He died after two weeks, on August 13, 1865, aged 47, from a gangrenous wound caused by the beating. His autopsy revealed extensive internal injuries, the cause of death pyemia–the very thing he spent his life trying to eradicate.
The end
Semmelweis was buried in Vienna on August 15, 1865. Only a few people attended the service. Brief announcements of his death appeared in a few medical periodicals in Vienna and Budapest. Although the rules of the Hungarian Association of Physicians and Natural Scientists specified that a commemorative address be delivered in honor of a member who had died in the preceding year, there was no address for Semmelweis; his death was never even mentioned.
A memorial to Semmelweis, savior of women and children
That same year Joseph Lister [the person whom Listerine is named after] begins spraying a carbolic acid solution during surgery to kill germs. In the end, it’s Lister who gives our unhappy hero his due. He says, “Without Semmelweis, my achievements would be nothing.”
The anatomical Venus made of wax… see I do see art from time to time
PS: I don’t write poetry often; there is probably a reason for that.
I’d rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on Earth. Steve McQueen
I have always been an independent sort. As I kid, I often ‘ran away from home’. Often. I never went very far –usually exploring the outer reaches of our 25 acres. Many times, I had my school backpack and stuffed it with a sleeping bag, snacks and a book and had a good day. Summers were great as I often set up a tent somewhere on the property and was ‘away’ for a few days at a time. A couple of times, I built a little raft a floated it on the creek pretending to be Tom Sawyer. As a child, my fondest wish to be a boy scout. Our town didn’t have a girl scouts, but that didn’t stop me from checking out books in the library on ‘wilderness survival’. I taught myself cool things like how to build a fire, how to set up a tent, and how not to get attacked by bears.
Up until my mid 20’s I considered myself to be pretty outdoorsy, enjoying to spend as much time outside and under the sun as possible, hiking, biking, communicating with nature and all that crap. But somewhere along the line, things changed. It’s hard to put a finger on exactly when this happen, but I think it had something to do with getting my first big girl job. Working 6 days a week with minimal vacation time sucked the life out of my soul, and after about 2 years, I couldn’t do it anymore. It had been 2 years since I’d had a vacation so just after my two year work-anniversary, I took off to the North Carolina’s Outer Banks.
The Outer Banks is awesome. The northern half where Cape Hatteras Lighthouse is by far the more popular part of the Outer Banks. Ocracoke Lighthouse is gleaming white. It was built in 1823, the second oldest still in use in the nation. It’s not a tall as Hatteras or as famous but nevertheless it is an awesome site!
Ocracoke Island sits 23 miles off the North Carolina coast and a quarter mile south of Hatteras Island. It usually measures 17 miles long and a mile wide. The deserted, windblown beaches of the Cape Hatteras National Seashore make up the northern 90 percent of the island, and a small village of hotels, restaurants, shops, homes makes up the southern 10 percent. It’s a great place to get away from it all.
Going to the Outer Banks helped me re-assess my priorities in life. Did I want a life of relative security and stability? Did I want a life where taking a vacation was more of a headache than a means of relaxation? Hell no. I didn’t want that when I started, and after two years I didn’t like where that life was leading. Subconsciously I guess I realized how unhappy I was with my life, and deep down I was yearning to get back to my childhood roots, and to the last time I was really happy with life. I needed to get dirty, sleep under the stars again, and paddle about around on a body of water on a regular basis.
And where did I have this profound, existential realization? In a tent, under the stars off the coast of North Carolina in an area where the one of the most infamous pirates in history roamed.
I sure know how to pick my moments.
There is something incredibly cliche, but true about laying out under the stars, way out in the middle of nowhere, hearing waves crash on the shore that triggers some scary deep thoughts, right? Right? Please say this is not just me.
Seeing the sun rise over the ocean…
watching dolphins play in the ocean…
observing patterns in the sand…
These were the kinds of moments I had been missing over the past few years. Taking a step back away from all the craziness, all the rush, all of the stress that is involved with chasing the “American Dream” and realizing that simple, peaceful quiet moments abroad are often the most meaningful and profound. I exited the rat race at that moment [even thought it still took a while to start chasing MY American Dream].
It’s been 8 years since I’ve had that revelation. In that time I’ve traveled to more than 40 countries. I’ve had short adventures and long ones. I’ve become a registered nurse. I’m on my way to becoming a nurse practitioner. As I paddled around and explored the barrier islands off South Carolina’s coast, I felt the stress of the last few weeks melt away. I was light years removed from the stress of the last few weeks. With each stroke of my kayak, I felt so far removed from the hustle and bustle of life, I could feel a smile creep on my face for the first time in a while.
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day;
the score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play.
And then when Cooney died at first, and Barrows did the same,
a sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
they thought, if only Casey could get but a whack at that –
they’d put up even money, now, with Casey at the bat.
But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jimmy Blake,
and the former was a lulu and the latter was a cake,
so upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
for there seemed but little chance of Casey’s getting to the bat.
But Flynn let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
and Blake, the much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
and when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
there was Jimmy safe at second and Flynn a-hugging third.
Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
it rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
it knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
for Casey, mighty Casey, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Casey’s manner as he stepped into his place;
there was pride in Casey’s bearing and a smile on Casey’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
no stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Casey at the bat.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
five thousand tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt.
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
defiance gleamed in Casey’s eye, a sneer curled Casey’s lip.
And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
and Casey stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the ball unheeded sped—
“That ain’t my style,” said Casey. “Strike one,” the umpire said.
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
and it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Casey raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Casey’s visage shone;
he stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
he signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew;
but Casey still ignored it, and the umpire said: “Strike two.”
“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and Echo answered fraud;
but one scornful look from Casey and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
and they knew that Casey wouldn’t let that ball go by again.
The sneer is gone from Casey’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate;
he pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
and now the air is shattered by the force of Casey’s blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
the band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
and somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
but there is no joy in Mudville—mighty Casey has struck out.
I started playing in a coaches’ pitch baseball league at the tender age of 7. Not girls’ softball. Baseball. And I continued into our town’s version of little league at age 9. It was the first time I remember overt sexism.
“I will not have that little girl on my team,” I remember the coach saying to my dad.
“Why not? She’s just as good as some of the other 9 year olds.”
Two fully fledged, adult grown men were arguing about me. About whether or nor I was ‘good enough’ to play baseball. Not softball like all the other girls. Baseball. Mentally, I just recited the poem about baseball I’d recently learned– Casey at the bat
To make his point my coach played me at catcher one day in practice, and told me if I let one ball pass, I would ride the bench the whole season. To my credit, and I suppose the credit of my dad and baseball loving cousins., nothing got past me. I may not have caught them all, but nothing got past me. Much to the dismay of my coach. And his son. The pitcher. Just as proud of me as my dad was, his dad was disappointed in him. “That he couldn’t even get the ball past a girl,” I overheard as I saw him smack my teammate in the back of the head.
Summer 2001–Baseball Dreams
When I proposed the summer ‘Field of Dreams’ tour, I’m quite sure I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. How could I? I think the last conversation I had with my day that didn’t end in doors slamming was about my little league catching strategy At 9, I craved his advice. At 14, I told him if I wanted his advice, I’d ask for it, and very little words passed between us after that. And by 19, we hardly spoke.
When I first proposed the tour, it was like “blah blah blah, work…” to which I responded “FINE.!” And as everyone knows, any argument ending in FINE, is most definitely NOT FINE.
A few weeks later
“I guess we can go in August. Especially if you aren’t in school.” I did not fall for the bait. “OK. I’ll start looking at schedules.”
It was still early enough that I could take a full summer course load and take off the Fall semester. After all, I had no idea what direction I was headed in so did it really matter that I was delaying it?
I planned an equal mix of American League and National League venues. I’m an American League girl {Baltimore Orioles, in case you’re curious] while my dad was an OG Brooklyn/LA Dodgers fan. How two people from the southeast United States ended up as fans of said baseball teams is a story for another day.
Stop 1: St Louis Cardinals. {National League]
Stop 2: 2 for 1 of Chicago White Sox [AL] and Chicago Cubs {NL] [The Cubs were the only team that both my dad and I liked]
Stop 3: Cincinnati Reds [NL]
Stop 4: Cleveland Indians [AL]
Stop 5: Detroit Tigers [AL]
Stop 6: Toronto Blue Jays [AL]
Stop 7: Montreal Expos {NL]
Stop 8: Boston Red Sox [AL]
Stop 9: New York Mets [Another of my dad’s favorites] [NL]
Stop 10: Philadelphia Phillies [NL]
Stop 11: Baltimore Orioles [the holy grail for me, but they are still the Orioles and I was treated to not one but two losses] [AL]
3000-ish miles, 35 days, 13 games, 12 stadiums, 8 hot dogs, It’s a miracle we both survived
As an introvert, I live a lot of my life in my head. And as an avowed #historynerd, I think a lot about the past. I think about how 21st me would fair in various time periods. Would I survive? Would I thrive? For example, 21st century me does not like human sacrifice. The weather fascinates 21st century me, but not so much that I want to control it. 21st century me knows that I nor anyone else can make it rain on command. 21st century me like to build things and garden, but in fact does not offer human sacrifices to the deities in order to get rain. Evidently, I would not last long in Mayan society.
Did you know? I did my senior thesis project on Mayan Art and Architecture. In Spanish. So much of a #historynerd.
Large and in charge
Being in charge is no joke. Sometimes at work I’m forced into that position. I don’t like it, and it’s not a position I enjoy. It’s hard work being in charge. However, at least when I’m in charge I know there are things outside my control. Like admissions. Or orders.
In ancient Mayan society, rulers were responsible for governance, organization, warfare, keeping the calendar… Oh, and CONTROLLING THE WEATHER. By claiming divine descent and direct communication with the gods, the ruling elite was able to justify its power and obtain necessities like food, clothing, shelter, and status symbols from lower social classes in exchange for divine protection.
Long dead rulers, who were thought to be God-like themselves, continued ‘living’ in these amazingly intricate temples. Mayan offered ritualistic offerings to appeal to the gods.Mayas believed that their gods rewarded such sacrifices with blessings such as prosperity, fertility, and military success.
The God of rain and lightening
One of the most insatiable deities was Chac, the god of rain and lightning. Chac is a snake-shaped being with a reptilian face, large round eyes, a down-pointing snout, and fangs. He carries a lightning axe. Chichen Itza is often thought to be acoustically designed so that feet climbing the steps would mimic the pitter-patter of rain drops and please Chac– who in turn would cause real rain drops to fall. Not coincidentally, Chac is depicted all over the exterior of Chichen Itza.
On the Yucatán Peninsula, rain wasn’t a guarantee, but it was absolutely necessary for survival; rulers were even known as supreme rainmakers in honor of their most important job. Rituals involved feasts, ceremonious smashing and burning of ceramic vessels, and even mass public bloodletting with stingray spines. Temples were also important divine pathways, and construction was often punctuated with rituals that left artifacts within the building’s structure itself.
No rain for YEARS
During droughts, however, regular rituals just didn’t cut it. During droughts, human sacrifice was a common practice. Young kids served as the sacrificees. Kids represent growth and development. Such things were needed for growing crops. On the Yucatan peninsula, archaeologists have recovered the hearts of young boys. Their hearts were ripped out of their body and thrown in the area cenotes. [Side note curiosity: How were hearts discovered? Who discovered them? Hearts do not contain bones, and water accelerated decomposition. Unless frozen. And it’s way too warm on the Yucatan to freeze.] In the southern highlands, priests dropped infants in cenotes and they drowned.
Imagine being a Mayan parent. The elites select your kid for sacrifice. 21st century me can not get on board that train, but 800s meso-american me, I can see the value of sacrifice one for the good of all. In, fact, that’s a common historical occurrence that the selfishness of the 21st century seems to forget. But I digress. My kid for the survival of all of us. Ummm, OK, but Chaac, my harvest better be extra bountiful for the next few years, and I better be able to get pregnant again.
The Crystal Maiden
A sacrificial human skeleton known as the Crystal Maiden was found in the dark zone of a cave and dated back to the ninth century, a dry and turbulent era for the Maya. The god Chaac lived at the bottom of caves, cenotes, and other dark places, with his pet serpents guarding the water. Archeologists discovered human remains dating from the Early Classic period at cave entrances. However as times got more difficult, priests ventured further and further in the caves. By the 8th and 9th centuries, Mayans have not seen predictable rain for many years. Times are increasingly more difficult, and priests advanced to the rear of the caves to offer sacrifices like the Crystal Maiden. Times were hard. Priests and the elite grew desperate to satisfy both Chaac and an angry populace.
Unfortunately for the elite, no rain came. Humans sacrificed increased in quantity and the community worked at a frantic pace to construct a new, more pleasing to Chaac temple. However, infighting increased. Kingdoms collapsed. The peasant class shifted blame to its rulers. Many elites were killed for failing to allow rain. The established social hierarchy deteriorated until the population collapsed. But it didn’t die out completely.
Modern Mayans still worship Chaac, sending offerings into the cenotes he dwells in. At least today, kids aren’t sacrificed. More importantly, beating hearts remain encased in bodies. And infants see their first birthdays.
I thought to myself as a re-read the text from my ex Michael.
“Come stay with me”, it read.
‘But what the hell. This year has been trying at best, and we haven’t seen each other in over 18 months. Nothing will happen. Besides, it will be nice to see a friendly face’.
I had this dual conversation with myself with one part trying to talk myself into and the other part trying to talk myself out of meeting Michael the week after Thanksgiving.
Even if nothing happens… even if we don’t meet up, I adore the coast in the off-season, and late November/early December is usually still warm enough to be considered fall. The coast when all the tourists are gone is a different animal than the packed chaos of the summer. Restaurants close. Prices go down. It’s still warm enough that a walk on the beach barefoot seems like a good idea. Until that breeze blows in off the ocean. Then you know that it is definitely NOT SUMMER any more.
I didn’t go back home to South Carolina for Thanksgiving. I don’t regret that decision, but it certainly did not make me the popular kid. Being the new kid in town means I work all the holidays people really want off work for. Being an only child means having no siblings to celebrate or commensurate with… also no siblings means there’s no one to give me nieces or nephews to play with, and with my father dying back in May, I don’t think it would be the happiest of occasions anyway.
Anyway… and perhaps against my better judgement, just like on the day we met and just like on the day of our first kiss, I made the decision to meet him. I drove down to Myrtle Beach from Wilmington to stay with him.
Just for the day, I told myself. It’s been a hell of a three months. Loneliness + dealing with a catastrophic natural disaster; sometimes my head hurt from all the knowledge and skills being crammed in it on a seemingly daily basis. Sometimes it’s nice to be with people who really know you, people willing to hold you when you need to be held, and kiss you when you need to be kissed.
There are parts of my life in South Carolina that I miss; I miss my friends and my kitties. No doubt, I needed to leave when I did. Too many recent bad memories. I needed a fresh start, but by God, it’s hard.
Should I stay or should I go
Moving to a new city as a 20-something year old introvert who would rather hibernate than go out and meet people is hard. It’s extra hard to meet people working the night shift. Michael is by far my favorite ex-boyfriend, and I really don’t want to date him again, especially since we now live in different states, but my God, it was so good to be with him again.
We did beach-y things like hold walk hands while walking on the beach with me stopping every 5 minutes to snap artsy photos. We had dinner at a local Italian restaurant… once again our hands lingering on top of the table. While he attended conferences, I visited Myrtle Beach State Park. It’s so much more peaceful here than in the busy season.
And we had long, meaningful talks where I implored the universe to ‘show me a sign’. Give me some sort of direction of what I should be doing. In with the new, and out with the old, or keep the old and make new? Please universe, show me a sign.
Clearly it was the universe talking… Now if I only knew what the hell it means…
I have always kept a record of my travels. It used to be with a pen and paper and 35 mm film. Now it’s all digital. On Flashback Fridays I reflect back on some of my past travels and travel mishaps before I started this blog.
The next few Flashback Fridays focus on Mexico, Guatemala, and other Mayan sites that I visited during my study abroad/independent study on Mayan Art and Architecture.
I have been avoiding Chiapas since I decided to stay in Campeche. [Yes, I do realize that Palenque is in Chiapas,] I have been avoiding it due to the Zapatistas that seems to thrive in the area. Maybe I was overreacting; maybe not, but the Zapatistas scare me. Chiapas is a poor state, and their grass-roots attempts at reform generally appeal to poorer people. Who knows? They may want to kidnap an American as part of their protest of NAFTA. I’m attempting to not appear American. I have my People in Espanol magazine, my Luis Miguel, Cristian Castro, and Thalia CDs. I am more than willing to pass for the Spaniard that everyone seems to think I am.
Somewhere between Tuxtla Gutierrez and San Cristobal the bus was stopped. Scary dudes with big guns boarded the bus. Two people were ‘escorted’ off. I say they were kidnapped, but what do I know. Maybe they wanted to go with the men in black suits with the big guns. The bus left. They were not on it. Why? Who knows, but that’s exactly what I am afraid of… Scary men with big guns taking me off the bus to who knows where.
No need to remind me; I know I am in Zapatista territory.
See, I am in Zapatista territory…. I am probably going to die here… At least I am not in possession of any of the ‘forbidden’ items: Armas [oh the irony], seeds [for planting drugs or I don’t know maybe corn], or alcoholic beverages. And I am not planning to sell wood illegally or destroy nature. Maybe they will leave me alone after all. Hopefully San Cristobal will be a pleasant city to pass a few days in.
I am not usually a tea drinker, but I also don’t like taking medications. However, altitude sickness is no joke. And Diamox was not working. So, I bowed to pressure and tried the local cure for altitude sickness–coca leaves. At first, the idea of buying coca leaves seems almost rebellious. After all, coca leaves are the beginning product cocaine. Drinking coca leaf tea was a novelty for me. It has a bitter taste; it is primarily coca leaves and hot water. But being in the world’s highest city requires some concessions, and for me, that concession was ingesting coca leaf–in my case, by chewing the leaves.
Coca leaves became an integral part of my day; I chewed the leaves multiple times a day, and each time, I got a little mental boost–a bit of alertness to soothe the metal sluggishness that goes along with altitude sickness. In some way, I became addicted to the sticky green masticated leaves–it was the only thing that soothed my altitude sickness and made my stay in Potosi enjoyable.
sticky, masticated coca leaves
Altitude sickness aside, spending two weeks in Potosi, was a great decision. A better decision, perhaps, would have been to come to Potosi from La Paz instead of the relatively flat Cochebamba. At 13,500ft above sea level, Potosi will literally take your breath away, but it’s colonial charms will figuratively leave you breathless.
Potosi is a UNESCO protected city and walking around the flat parts of the city, it’s easy to marvel over the beauty of the buildings or wonder what the area must have been like when the Spanish discovered the silver in the Cerro Rico mountain that looms over the city. However, when walking uphill around the city, which is at least half the time, my will to explore was seriously in question. But my desire to explore won out, and while walking down the well-maintained colonial streets it’s easy to imagine the hustle and bustle of the 16th and 17th century when Potosi was one of the world’s richest and had a population larger than Madrid.
On the darker side of things, it’s also easy to imagine the amount of work that mining the silver for which this town gained famed, and how that work would have been done. When the Spanish discovered the Cerro Rico in 1544 it was the richest source of silver in the known world. Potosi and Spain grew rich from the proceeds, but this wealth came at an tremendous cost in human and animal lives and pain and suffering. The Spanish brought an estimated 30,000 African slaves, enslaved indigenous locals, used untold numbers of horse and llama to get the goods to the Atlantic coast to ship to Spain. Historians claim that the system of slavery that Spain’s Viceroy Toledo created resulted in a massive depopulation of the Andean highlands. The mortality rates in the mines were amazingly high, and over the next three hundred years, the Spanish authorities, in collusion with the mine owners and the Catholic Church, pressed millions of indigenous Andean peoples into slavery to work in the mines.
It’s estimated that the barbaric conditions in the mines caused the deaths of between eight and ten million indigenous and African slaves.
So important was the Cerro Rico, and so entwined was the Catholic Church with the mines, that all the churches in Potosi point not to the east, but to the mountain, and some of the religious art is shaped to represent the pyramid shape of the mountain. If you want to see some Bolivian silver, there’s plenty on display in Potosi’s churches, but you could equally go to any of the major cathedrals in Spain to uncover where all that silver went.
The Spanish brought the Catholic Church’s Inquisition to the Spanish colonies, something dramatically depicted in the painting below. As per usual, it was often women and witches on the receiving end of ingenious methods of torture.
People often proffer this advice whenever attempting something hard. Like running a marathon. Or starting, then completing an advanced degree. How about starting a blog. Or a new job. Life is hard, and certain seasons are harder.
You could see the despair in their eyes. The hopelessness. The helplessness. The longing for a life that will never be the same. And me? Well, I was overwhelmed, but I tried not to show it.
The ink on my actual diploma was barely dry. My actual certification was less than two weeks old, and my license to practice had been granted just three days ago. I worked my final shift at the hospital I first started my job in a healthcare career a mere 36 hours before starting my first ‘grown-up’ job. I was scared to leave the secure environment I was in– scared to leave my friends and my supportive co-workers. But growth comes at the end of our comfort zone, and moving 4 hours away to start a job in a pediatric hospital with a level 1 trauma center, level 3 NICU, pediatric cardiac unit, was way, way outside my comfort zone.
I was supposed to start in September
September 12 to be exact, but I graduated August 10, took my licensing exam on the 12th, and was granted my license on August 15. I called my soon-to-be new program, told them my ‘good news’, and my subsequent start date was moved up to the 22nd. So on August 21, at 8am, after a 12 hours shift, I wished a Happy Birthday to my best work bud, and left all I knew behind. Two weeks early. A whole extra ‘adult’ paycheck. Let’s do this.
The job asked for volunteers on Thursday. Despite being employed there for only 4 days, I jumped at the chance to ‘go into the field’. I only hoped I wouldn’t be in the way. I knew enough to know I didn’t know enough to be actually helpful, but I was hopeful I could be of some value.
On Friday afternoon, I packed my backpack. Who really knows what to pack for a natural disaster? I packed as if I were going camping. Tech pants, wool socks, hiking boots, a hat, my Steri-Pen, my (brand-new) stethoscope, and basic some toiletries like a toothbrush. National Guard transported us and we were allowed one bag. On Friday night at 11pm, I and a handful of other healthcare volunteers, were picked up by the National Guard convoy headed to Mississippi. If things went well, we’d be back in about two weeks.
Spoiler alert: Things did not go well
A little hurricane name Katrina made landfall and damn-near wiped New Orleans off the map. Hospital generators failed. Patients died in hospitals and other care facilities. Roofs turned into front porches. And we waited. Waited because we couldn’t advance. Waiting even though people we dying. Waiting for the storm to pass. Which it did–eventually. And then the people came. Without anything. No medical records. No identification. Not even a spare change of clothes.
I triaged more people that I’d ever seen in my life. I saw more death than I’d ever seen in my entire life. South Mississippi looked like a war zone. New Orleans looked worse. But we didn’t make it that far. People came to us broken and tattered, and we did what we could to comfort them. To treat them. To make things normal. But life would never be normal again. Not for anyone Katrina touched. Wake me up when September ends.
Seven years have gone so fast
Seven years passed since that first September when I considered a career in health care until I started in healthcare. At times, it seems as if no time has passed at all. Other times, it seems like a lifetime ago. And that’s the way life is sometimes. Time isn’t linear. Things don’t happen on schedule. People often quit when things get hard and that’s why it’s important to remember the why.
At the risk of sounding obvious, I got into healthcare to help people. But not just anyone. Of course, I will help anyone I can, but what feeds my soul, is being present when disaster strikes. I don’t know what all this means for my future career. But I do know that I’m where I need to be. At least for right now.