Elle

Money, money, money

January 13, 2019 Elle Peace Corps

At home, I have a pile of foreign currency that I used to decorate my house. Some of the more colorful bills are framed; others are just in a jar, or more accurately, a glass block with the term ‘travel fund’ applied to it. It reminds me of places I’ve been, and I’m still just a tiny bit sad I was never in Europe prior to the introduction of the Euro. All that to preface that fact that I still refer to Rwandan Francs as ‘play’ money instead of ‘real’ money. So are you curious about the finances of a PCV in Rwanda? Just how many Rwandan Francs do I earn each month. What exactly is a Rwandan Franc. No? then move along. If the answer is yes, have I got a post for you.

Prior to joining the Peace Corps, I was an Amazon addict. I ordered everything, and I do mean everything, I could on-line so that I would not have to go to a store. I hated everything about shopping from going to a store to search for what I need to standing in a check-out line. Shopping in Rwanda was one of the tasks I looked least forward to.

Enter market shopping.

Tomatoes, onions, rice, fruits, beans, toilet paper, clothes… All of these transactions are now done in person, in cash, in the market. Which means not only talking to people, but also having the cash to carryout that transaction.

First stop–getting that cash to start.

Rwanda has several main banks, and most of the time they work as expected. Unlike in America, if your bank card is misplaced or stolen, you cannot get a replacement the same day. The process could take months. Months! of having to plan your banking around banking hours to actually go in the bank. [shudder]

I am paid by the Peace Corps approximately $200/month in local currency. These funds are deposited into a bank account in my name. These funds do come with a debit card; however, at least in my banking town, I find very few people who will accept it. So usually twice a month I go into the banking town to withdraw funds so that I can do the market shopping. The only thing worse than market shopping is going into the banking town for banking purposes AND carrying around large sums of money.

Picture this scenario, if you will:

I’m strolling through the local food market searching for the tastiest tomatoes, freshest fruit, most exceptional eggs, or whatever. I see something I like, approach the vendor and ask the price [all of this occurs in a language I’ve had exactly six months practicing.] The vendor sometimes replies back in French; sometimes in Kinyarwanda. Great, two languages I’m not very good at plus math. My eyes roll around in my head as I try to remember how to count in French; I then repeat what I think is the number in Kinyarwanda. No matter the price, the reply is always ‘You’re crazy… That’s too much…’ I go back and forth trying to get things to a reasonable price, and when I do, money exchanges hands along with a very heart-felt ‘Murakoze’. And then the scenario is repeated at each and every market stall for every item I may wanted to buy.

It. Is. Exhausting. This scenario is a prime example of about half the interactions I have when I go food shopping in Rwanda. BUT I will not be taken advantage of because of the color of my skin. Or the words that come out of my mouth.

Before Training

There’s a lot of tasks that you must do prior do setting off for some far-off destination. And a lot of that costs money. In theory, the Peace Corps gives reimburses you for some of those expenses. In practice, however, I never received anything. So I’m starting off in the hole.

Pre Service Training

Peace Corps | Rwanda arranges for home-stays and gives that family a rather large sum of money to house and feed volunteer for the training period [Our training families received approximately 100,000 Rwandan Francs which is why after week 2 and my meals were dwindling in quantity and quality I made the off-hand comment that ‘I am supplementary income for this family. I won’t go into a lot of detail about the situation, but I will say that I was proven right. And was the situation was proven true with other volunteers from other cohorts. Again. and Again].

Peace Corps then gives you, the trainee, a bi-weekly allowance of 47,000 Rwandan Francs. In theory, this amount allows you to buy lunch everyday, phone credit, maybe an outfit or two, and snacks for yourself. It’s not a ton, especially when lunch is around 5000 francs, and when the host family isn’t feeding you, buying dinner with that 47,000 doesn’t get you very far.

Setting Up House

After swearing in you get a chunk of money to help set up house. For PC |Rwanda, we receive around 275,000 R Francs. Is that enough? For me, it was plenty because my space came fully furnished except bedding [which I brought from home]. I did have to set up a kitchen so I probably spent 150,000 or so on that including a gas stove and a 15kg tank of gas plus 2 kitchen sized tables.

The furniture in the house belongs to the landlord so the previous volunteer really didn’t leave me much of anything of value. The bottom line is that 275,000 Francs isn’t a lot especially when you have to buy furniture, and you might have to wait on some things.

In addition to the settling in allowance, PC will reimburse you up to 100,000 RWF for the purchase of a bicycle if you convince them you need it [a policy change—they used to just give you a bike, and there are about 20 used TREK bikes partly covered by a tarp at PC HQ just wasting away] .

Monthly Stipend

Each month after swearing in you get a stipend and sometimes another mid-month payment to cover one-time expenses and reimbursements. The stipend is supposed to be enough to maintain a standard of living equal to that of your community, but in reality at least my standard of living is a little bit higher than my community.

For December 2018, I received 198,094 Rwandan Francs. Converted to US$, it’s just over $225.

Peace Corps breaks it down in to categories:

Ultimately, how I spend that is up to me. Financially, I am comfortable in site. Sometimes I even save a little. This is not the case for all PCVs. Those in bigger sites or more rural sites sometime have to spend more.

Living allowance: 120,596 [this is supposed to cover all food, laundry, clothing, internet/phone credit, evenings on the town [HA!], ect]. It rarely does.
Bank/ATM Fees: 1000 RWF. Rwandan banks are worse than American banks and I can’t walk past an ATM without 1000 RWF being deducted from my account. But for example, it’s 236RWF for every transaction at your bank and 1587 for transactions at other banks.
Leave Allowance [goes towards any vacation I might take]: 30, 800 RWF
Utilities: 7,094 [we’re required to pay our own electricity and also includes someone fetching water for me]
In-country Travel Allowance: 6416 [for official PC travel, trips to banking towns for official business, ect]

I speak from experience: the second I leave site I start hemorrhaging money. There’s the expense of travel itself. And eating Every.Single.Meal out. I can’t put the amount of money I spent in Dec while on med hold in print because it’s so scary. Let’s just say I’m glad I was frugal in Sept/Oct/Nov.

Here is a sampling of prices:

One month of phone credit/internet: 30,000
Hotel room: 15000 Dorm 5000
A liter of milk: 1000
Enough fruits, vegetables, bread, eggs, ect to last me the week: 5000
Liter water: 500 RWF
Dozen of eggs: 1200 RWF

Finally, unlike in the U.S. I never spend money on medical supplies like band-aids, ibuprofen, condoms or prescription meds. That’s 100% covered by Peace Corps. I have yet to be actually sick, so I’m not sure I’m realizing that benefit.

Of the living allowance 6400 is earmarked for travel. This covers any mandatory and/or Peace Corps organized travel but not optional travel, even if it is work related. If we don’t spend it on travel, it’s ours to spend how we please. But as one trip to the capital costs 6600-7600 round trip, it doesn’t go very far.

Long story short (too late!) I do okay.

“I’m bored” and other Peace Corps thoughts

November 18, 2018 Elle Peace Corps

As a kid, rule #1 was to never say ‘I’m bored” around adults. Inevitably, that would lead to the assigning of some chore that I REALLY did not want to do. As a fairly inventive kid, I was rarely bored. I read., built things and explored. I wrote stories and drew pictures. Sometimes, I talked to my friends on an actual telephone. In the house.. Anything to not tell the adults “I’m bored'”

In that regards, Peace Corps Volunteers are like kids and Peace Corps Staff are like adults. Boredom lives in the Peace Corps and everyone knows it, but no one says it. Peace Corps Volunteers around the world are in charge of their own schedule. For Peace Corps Rwanda Health, our schedule should mirror our counterpart, but at minimum, we should ‘work’ 20 hours/week. But what if your assigned counterpart has fled the country and works zero hours? Or the other one shows up 5 hours late because of ummm ‘excessive alcohol consumption’? Or you show up to the health center at 7a as you are told to do for a meeting, and sit on a hard wooden bench for an hour and no one shows up to said meeting.. What happens then?

There’s no time clock to clock in and out and in theory, PCVs should create schedules with their counterparts. But in my case, with no actual counterpart, what’s a PCV to do? 20 hours a week is approximately 11.9% of a week. How do I fill the other 88%.? I wonder around the ikigonderabuzima and look for friendly faces. Sometimes I end up in pharmacy and count pills and fill prescriptions [oooh pharmacy tech, I know how to do this job]. Other times I end up in maternity and see babies [oooh NICU nurse, I know how to do this job]. Sometimes I end up in an educational lecture [oooh, topic educator, I can do this too–just not in kinya]. Yet, other times I help unload deliveries [ooooh, inventory specialist, I can do that too]. Sometimes, and lately this has been my favorite thing to do, I peruse daily ledgers to see why people are coming to the health center [actual community health] and tally the number of cases of each admission. Then I sort by gender and age range. [oooh. beginning epidemiology]. I love doing this task mostly because it doesn’t require me speaking to people and I since government documents are in Kinyarwanda, Kiswahili, French, and English, I get exposure to all 4 languages. Sometimes I bring my radio and listen to Rwanda radio and spend literally 8 hours in my office without seeing another soul. [I know, bad volunteer. We are supposed to be out meeting and greeting and gaining fluency in our language[s],] I’m very productive with the ledgers and can categorize large volumes of info into readable reports. Sometimes I weigh babies. [I can practice numbers in French and Kenya! and get tongue-tied over Rwandan names]. There is freedom to do literally anything.

Some PCVs bury themselves in their projects; some spend two years doing nothing. Some use weekends to travel around the country they are in; while others are “site rats” and barely leave their site. [This is 100% not me It’s my goal to visit everyone in my cohort’s site at least once. I don’t think the PC director would approve of that goal, but I’m going for more Rwanda integration than ‘site integration’]

Be Present. Just Be Present. That’s a feat that most Westerners cannot accomplish.–especially Americans. Peace Corps is the perfect opportunity for volunteers to release themselves from the American mindset of always being occupied or productive in a fast-paced society. I’ve gained an appreciation for unstructured time with family, friends and neighbors, hours of uninterrupted reading time (34 books and counting in 6 months) But here I am finding ways to keep myself entertained [yay for only child experience] , and these past 6 months are changing me and clarifying the future version of myself. Whether I like it or not, it’s changing me, and that is something powerful. I’m growing so much more aware of who I am, where I am, what I can give, and where I’m going.

sometimes people show up SEVERAL hours after the scheduled meeting time

Here’s some things I do when I’m bored (I mean really bored) at site.

Go on a walk
Listen to music and stare at the wall
Play with #notmycat and her babies
Play solitaire
Play banana grams by myself
Look up words in my Kinyarwanda/French/English dictionary and try to learn 2 languages at the same time
Look up “cost of living in Washington, DC” Or Washington state. Or London. Or Canada. Fall down the rabbit hole of ‘where can RNs work internationally’
Look up qualifications to work for MSF
Begin to lear Arabic despite not knowing anything about Arabic nor having anyone to speak Arabic with.
Speak with my neighbor in German because my German is much better than my Kinyarwanda or French
Make up entirely non-plausible stories in my head about living in Rwanda and speaking more German than any of the 4 official languages of the country.
Daydream about going on safari.
Read, read, read, and read some more
Study for the GRE
Make some tea
Do some yoga
Write a blog post
Plot revenge
Take a bucket bath inside my house and use the excess water to ‘mop’ the floor
Watch pirated movies
Take a three hour nap
Stay up until 3 am because that’s the only time I can hear myself think
Sort out my photos
Write letters to friends
Teach myself how to photoshop on pirated software
Journal, journal, journal
Put on a face mask
Plan a trip to Uganda, Kenya, and/or Tanzania
Plan a trip to Zimbabwe/Zambia
Make plans to live abroad permanently including how and where
Check on my bucket garden
Chop vegetables
Make grocery aka market lists
look up new recipes that can be made with village supplies
practice suturing my fake arm
read more books
listen to music
try to remember how to solve math problems
investigate taking the foreign service exam
WhatsAPP other PCVs

Remember why I’m here and how joyful this whole experience is despite the ample free time!

A Timeline of the Peace Corps Process

November 4, 2018 Elle Peace Corps

Applying to the Peace Corps is an arduous process even with the ‘new’ system rolled out in 2014. My guess is they make the application process so difficult because serving is so difficult. If filling out the required paperwork makes you break into hives, then there’s no way you will be a successful volunteer. I’ve had a lot of questions about what the application process is like and what my specific timeline was so I thought I would write it down as best as I can remember according to my own memories and my “real’ memory, courtesy of gmail, which records every important incident in my life. Fair warning. This is long… and there’s no pictures.

The Very Beginning

September 24, 2016: While watching a football game one Saturday, I randomly click over to the Peace Corps site just to check it out. Peace Corps was something my 11 year old self wanted to do, my 21 year old self almost did, and 31 year old self came up with a bunch of reasons not to do. Randomly decide to apply to Peace Corps while watching football. I choose the ‘go anywhere, do anything’ option.
September 29, 2016: Placed ‘under consideration‘ for Healthy Youth Program in Lesotho. Undecided about if I want to work with ‘healthy youth in Lesotho’ but decide to continue on with the application process.
Nothing happens for three months and I essentially decide Peace Corps is not for me
December 27, 2016: Get a request for an interview with the Lesotho placement officer. Looks at remaining slot and notice only one available that could possibly fit my schedule. 8A, January 3, 2017, after a 24 hour post-call shift.
January 3, 2017: Interview with placement officer for Lesotho position coming off a 24 hour on call shift where I’d worked 16 hours and been awake for 36 hours. Don’t remember anything about said interview other than in lasted 30 minutes [They said to prepare for 1-1.5 hours]
Feb 28, 2017: Received news that I’m not going to Lesotho [not surprised; not sad]. Decide I would reapply.

The beginning: part 2

March 1, 2017: Re-submit PC application. This time I chose HEALTH and Madagascar, Guyana, and Mozambique. I was also open to Central Asia/Eastern Europe and South America. North/West Africa was a no-go.
March 3, 2017: Placed under consideration for Community Health Volunteer in Madagascar. Excited, like I wasn’t about Lesotho.
May 5, 2017: Interview with placement officer for Madagascar. Interview last 1.75 hours. I was reminded to dress and act professionally even though it is a Skype interview. Wear pants even if the other person can’t tell because what if this one time, I have to get up to answer the door or the cat starts acting like an idiot and I need to throw him outside. The only thing I am told is get some recent ‘health’ volunteer experience. I reply that I am a currently a RN, and have been working in health care for 10 years. If I’m going to do any volunteer work, it won’t be in the ‘health’ sector since I’m already in it 48+ hours a week. I was told that was acceptable.

Invited

July 29, 2017: Receive invitation for Madagascar pending legal and medical clearance, and I only have three days to accept. Mind you the invitation was sent on the 27th and it’s about 2a on a Sunday morning. Have no one except my much older coworker to talk it over with, and decide ‘what the hell?’ I push the ‘i accept button’ and sent a return email.
DO.ALL.THE.THINGS [Physical, mental and physical health, get a PAP Smear, have dental probings done. Have about a gallon of blood drawn because they keep adding tests]
November 16, 2017 Receive MEDICAL CLEARANCE
November 26, 2017: Quit one job in preparation for leaving for Madagascar.
January 2, 2018: Receive LEGAL CLEARANCE; get excited in earnest about leaving for Madagascar on February 25 [right after my birthday!]
February 15, 2018: Pack.All.the.bags... Begin the process of saying good-bye
February 23, 2018: diagnosed with influenza [1st time ever!]
February 25, 2015: Madagascar staging happened without me there. [total sadness]
March 11, 2018: Offered Maternal-Child Health Position in Rwanda leaving June 4; either accept or begin the entire application process from scratch. Think that pretty much anywhere other than West Africa would be better than Rwanda.
June 04, 2018: I got on that plane to Philadelphia. It was one of the harder decisions I’ve ever made.
June 06, 2018: Arrived in Kigali
August 14, 2018: Sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer

I spent 1 year, 8 months trying to get in the Peace Corps and as of today, I have 1 year, 10 months remaining to serve… Barring natural disasters, or any other as of now unforeseen legitimate reason to leave Rwanda.

From Trainee to Volunteer 5: Home wasn’t built in a day

September 30, 2018 Elle Hideaway Peace Corps

This is the last post in my series From Trainee to Volunteer relating the trials and tribulations transitioning from Peace Corps’ Trainee to Peace Corps’ Volunteer [See the others here: Swearing In, Site, Goals, and Expectations]

Mbazi, Rwanda

[now that I’m no longer an active PCV I can disclose my exact location of my Rwanda home]

The first time I cried during Peace Corps service was Monday during site visit. We arrived on Saturday, and that Saturday morning was last meal. The health center ‘lost’ the keys to the side rooms. I had no toilet. Or kitchen. PC headquarters didn’t offer any assistance. I only used the HC toilet and didn’t bathe for the entire week. [Yeah, by Friday, I was pretty disgusted by myself].

I brought snacks—peanuts, eggs, chips, a couple of bananas and 8L of water smuggled out of St Agnes. I didn’t realize that these snacks would be my only food for three days. I went to work that Monday morning in a state of shock. I came back at lunch, went in the room that is now the kitchen, sat on the floor and cried. Big, giant ugly tears. I was hungry. I didn’t know where anything was to even get food.

Other volunteers were staying with host families and current volunteers. I was in a two room house with no electricity. [Let me clarify that the house has electricity; I just had no way to access it during site visit]. I called my friend and said ‘I have to get out of here now’. To his credit, he didn’t say ‘just tell me when to pick you up.’ He probed around for the cause of my mini-mental breakdown. We created a plan for getting me food which would lead to a better head space. One that was more equipped to deal with the challenges of serving in the Peace Corps.

Mbazi–part 2

All this to say that it was not love at first sight at my site. I arrived late in the afternoon on Thursday and the first thing I did was set up a basic kitchen. We’d missed lunch and St. Cristus’ breakfast was not nearly as complete as the St. Agnes’ breakfast. I knew that the last thing I wanted was to have another meltdown due to lack of food. I still did not know where anything was. I had pots and pans and a special bag of food I’d gotten in Kigali in preparation for making my first meal.

Making a home

Later on a full belly, I set about unpacking and settling in. I hung my US Flag, SC flag, US map and UT flag on the walls. I hung two large ikitenge fabrics on the walls. I made my bed then sat on the couch and opened up my first care package [from me]. While eating a Heath Bar [that amazingly didn’t melt] and reading going away cards/letters, I formulated a plan to turn the two rooms on the corner into something of a home.

‘Murica, the great state of South Carolina, and the University of Tennessee make up the wall decor in my living room

My bedroom has these amazing brown curtains that have hung in every place I’ve lived since 2009. My bed has two pillows [from home], a nice weight quilt [from Target] and a fuzzy blanket [from T-2000]. Next to the bed, my large duffel bag now serves as an end table. I keep all my electronic cords here since it’s near the outlet and I use electronics in bed anyway. [I know…I know…bad sleep hygiene].

The large green bucket has many uses but most of the time it serves as my dirty clothes container. I have a small trash can that I put trash in. On the floor I have my small rug [purchased in Rwamagana] that allows me to walk around barefoot. The accordion wall hanger, an over the door hanger and about 15 nails make this room ‘homey’. Lastly I’ve hung a few photos up on one side of over my bed, and cards, notes, and motivational sayings on the other side.

I had a local carpenter make a table that I sit my two metal chests on. [The smaller chest contains socks, underwear, tank tops, ect and the larger one tops and pants.

Bicycle delivery of two tables costing approximately $20 each; also you can see the health center where I work in the back ground.

My living room is more generic with the sofa, two chairs, and coffee tables all belonging to the landlord. In this room, I just moved the furniture to a different location than where the previous volunteer had it. I hung up the flags, added some glow in the dark stars, another accordion wall hanger, and a hook for my moto helmet. I have a small stool and two basins by the front door for no other reason than I don’t know where else to put them and that space looks empty.

The curtains hanging over the two windows and front door I made myself from a panel of ikitenge fabric I’d bought because I liked it, but had no idea what to do with it. I also like that it’s black, and although not black-out does a decent job of keeping it dark. I keep the windows open nearly 24/7 [I know…. I know… bad example for preventing malaria], and most of the time the breeze coming in keeps it pretty cool in here.

The latrine is your basic squatty potty, but instead of just having a hole directly underneath, this one has a concrete step and is built at an angle. So I have to pour water in after I use it to ensure the products end up in the intended destination. I have to ‘flush’ my latrine.

I’m most impressed with my little shower room. I still don’t shower every day [for example, I’m not getting naked outside when it’s cold out], but this room makes is a lot nicer when I do. I keep all my supplies together so it’s a ‘just add water’ situation when I do shower. It still smells like shit but what can you expect when it’s located next to the cow stalls and has ‘open-air ventilation.’

The kitchen

Finally on the tour of my little house on the corner is the kitchen. I spend more daylight hours in this room than any other, and not because I’m in there cooking all the time. Twenty five nails in the wall have made this kitchen a home. I have a place for the pots and pans, the hand towels, the oven mitts, coffee mugs, and kitchen utensils.

One table, courtesy of the health center, holds my gas stove, PC-issued water filter, and a dish drain. I had a table similar to the one in my bedroom made and keep it in the kitchen. I use this one for food prep and dry goods storage. The 4 tier plastic shelf holds fruits and vegetables as well as plates and plastic storage.

The chair in the corner was relocated from the house. I moved it from the bedroom to the kitchen. It gives me a place to sit ‘outside’ but still inside. I also have a small stool and two basins that are put into use when I’m doing dishes or laundry. My favorite pieces are the two shelves I made from scrap wood. I’ve got one hanging in the kitchen as a spice rack of sorts, and the other in the shower room holding toiletries.

Spice rack, pot storage, and dish towels

I still miss my little house in the country, and the two kitties that live there, but over the last month, taking the time to make this a little space a little more like me, makes it easier to be away from my ‘real’ home.

From Trainee to Volunteer 4: Expectations and living under pressure

September 23, 2018 Elle Peace Corps

This is the 4th post in the series From Trainee to Volunteer [See the others here: Swearing in, Site, and Goals]. This one is all about expectations. During PST and even before, Peace Corps tell its trainees not to have expectations because whatever expectations you may have [good or bad] will not be met. Come into service with a blank slate so to speak, and you’ll have a chance to mitigate disappointments.

BUT…

Back home, my jobs had clear expectations, and there was an accepted ways of doing things. Be at work on time [call if you are going to be late], take care of assigned patients/customers, don’t be a smart ass, and don’t kill anyone. You know, the basics. How exactly said job was accomplished was generally left to me, and as long as I didn’t break any rules [or laws for that matter], I was generally left alone to do said job, and ask for help when needed.

Peace Corps jobs are a little different.

One month in and I still haven’t met the boss. I don’t know who he is. We met once at the supervisor conference we had in training. I still don’t have a schedule or any semblance of a schedule. I don’t know when ‘work’ starts. I’ve shown up at 7am and have been late and shown up at 8a and been early. I still don’t know what I am supposed to be doing or how to do it. Oh yes, I have my site goals, but without support and honestly without a plan those are just ideas.

My assigned counterpart doesn’t show up to work a lot of the time which leaves me to either sit in the office, go home, or just find something to do. I’ve been ‘finding something to do’, but when I mentioned this to PC HQ, I was told to ‘not be so flexible’. It’s damn near impossible to co-create, co-teach, co-plan, co-present, co-anything when the person you are supposed to be co-ing is unreliable [PC’s new mantra is Co-co-co… We should never be doing any projects on our own; every project needs to have a counterpart… something about fostering sustainability and having local-level buy-in so when I leave, the project continues on…]

Integration

During the first three months, the focus is on ‘integration’. Integration includes meeting neighbors, establishing a house, getting comfortable in said home, learning more Kinyarwanda, basically allowing the community to ‘see me.’ Peace Corps describes my job as to be seen. And for an introvert like me, being seen is hard. Talking to strangers in a language I don’t have full mastery of is hard. Meeting and greeting people is hard.

Just out for a stroll…looking to meet people

I set little goals for myself each day. Some days it’s ‘go to the AM meeting at the health center. [Even though there’s a 99% chance that I won’t understand most of what is said and isn’t applicable to me]. Walk across the street and talk to my neighbor for 3-5 minutes [this is cheating because we talk in German most of the time]. Go to the market and buy some things. [I now have an egg guy and a tomato lady that seem nice and don’t try to rip me off]. Talk to the HC staff. Sit outside [weather permitting] and cook, or wash dishes or do laundry…

It doesn’t seem like much, but some days it’s exhausting. Usually on Saturdays I don’t leave my house. [I love Saturdays]. I do laundry, cook, and fetch water, but I don’t often leave the front gates. Previous and current volunteers tell me that going slowly in the first few months are the best approach. Show up, be available, and be friendly. If I can do that, I will have a successful service.

From Trainee to Volunteer 3: Peace Corps Goals

September 9, 2018 Elle Peace Corps

PC | Rwanda is trying something new with our cohort of Health volunteers [He10] called site goals. In theory, PC and Health center staff work together to create site goals prior to a volunteer’s arrival. Once again, in theory, this gives the volunteer a little more direction on where the PCV should be focusing his/her time. Site goals are developed to be completed over a period of 6+ years using 3 volunteers total. Volunteer 1[He10] is the plan/lay ground work person. Volunteer 2 [He12] is the carry out the plan person and volunteer 3 [He14] is the wrap up person. In theory, after 6 years the site will ‘graduate’ and no longer need a PCV.

Like I said, all this is great in theory, but putting it in practice is another beast entirely. For example, I am the forth volunteer at my site. In theory my site should have ‘graduated’ already. People here are somewhat used to having a volunteer around doing various projects. They are used to telling a PCV what they’d like to have. Then the PCV working on it either by education, tangible building projects, or receiving a grant. Site goals create some issues with that.

Site Goals

For example, my site goals include reducing childhood malnutrition to 0%. The second goal is to increase women delivering babies at the health center from 15% to 50%. However, villagers have different goals. When interviewed both the staff and some of the inhabitants of the villages, said that bad hygiene practices/lack access to clean water is a more pressing issue than women having babies at home. Health center workers report malaria is a bigger an issue than women having babies at home.

It’s hard enough to convince people that have limited access to water that washing hands is important let alone to convince a women in labor to walk up to 2 hours to the health center to give birth, stay for about 24 hours, and then walk back 2 hours post-partum while carrying a newborn. If I were in their place, I wouldn’t do it. So nutrition, hygiene, and malaria are what I’ll be working on. He12 and He14 can tackle the women giving birth at the HC issue.

So, while PC has their goals, I have mine, and they have absolutely nothing to do with PC’s site goals. I’ve identified 5 goals I’d like to work on in the next two years, and to be honest, they’d be the same goals I’d work on back in America. Instead of NEW YEAR’S resolutions, think more along the lines of NEW LIFE resolutions.

Goal 1

Lose weight. Lack of motivation to exercise combined with unhealthy eating practices [I really don’t enjoy cooking and eating meals on the go] and schedules all over the place [should I eat a full meal at midnight? Or what about breakfast at 8am even though I’ve just worked 12+ hours] has led to an unhealthy weight gain. Add that to the 50 pounds I gained while on high dose steroids for six months, and you have a chunky Michelle. I’ve already lost about 10kg in the 3.5 months I’ve been here. I just need to keep it up and keep it going.
- Goal 1.2: Commit to an exercise program that will be possible to maintain whether I’m in my village, my country house, or traveling back and forth to work/school every day. Right now, that’s yoga, and while I’m still finding it difficult to make it a daily habit, I am finding it easier to start back when I miss a couple of days. #progressnotprefection.

I can no longer wear those pants without them literally falling off, and that shirt has room enough in it for a small animal.

Goal 2

Learn to cook. Well. While I can cook, and have no doubt that I can cook well enough not to starve, with [extremely] limited options for dining out, I need to learn to cook a variety of things with very limited ingredients. Learning not to rely on quick cook foods, frozen dinners, and snacks is like rewiring my brain. And since my primary goal here is nutrition, I should be [at least] a better example. To that end, one of my fellow PCVs is teaching me how to cook all sorts of interesting things… all from scratch… all from common ingredients that we find in the market. We meet periodically to buy fresh ingredients from the market and whip up something delicious while watching a movie. These recipes are featured in posts called Cooking in the Corps.
a pot of beans anyone? As a native to the southeastern US, this is considered comfort food. Also easily attainable I Rwanda.

Goal 3
Apply to NP school. I’ve only found one school that advertises the degree I want [dual FNP/PMHNP], but it is possible to combine programs at other school to get the same program offered at the one school. To this end, I am taking the GRE at home in February. Some schools require it; others don’t, but it will be easier to take it in the US versus trying to schedule it in Rwanda. At present I have a list of five [with two others in reserve that only offer the FNP portion so I’d have to apply to a different school to do a post-masters PMH] schools I plan to apply to [I can’t afford any more on a Peace Corps’ budget] They are as follows [in no particular order]: UTHSC [the only school I’ve found that offers the dual program], UT-Knoxville [the only school on the list that offers a Coverdell scholarship], USC [they have both degree programs; they don’t have the dual degree as an option], Frontier Nursing University, Eastern Kentucky University [both have both options available; neither have a dual program], and the two schools in reserve are both South Carolina schools that only offer the FNP degree [meaning I’d have to go to a second school for the PMH degree] Clemson University and Francis Marion University. My goal is to start no later than Spring Term 2021.

Goal 4

Learn photoshop. I have a copy of Photoshop Elements downloaded on my computer. I barely know how to do much more than crop. I’ve got nearly 50000 photos on my hard drive that need editing so I’ve got a lot of material on which to practice.
- Sub-goal 2: Edit and organize said photos
- Sub-goal 3: Re-design the blog and ensure every post has at least one photo in it.

Goal 5

Strengthen relationships. This one is kind of esoteric. However, there are 2 [very important] outliers, the people important in my life today are people I’ve met in the last five years. These are the people I call when I’m down. People I WhatsApp with regularly. And the people who send me mail and care packages. These are the people I draw strength from when I think about quitting; and the people I don’t want to disappoint. This also applies to PC friendships too. I’ve identified a couple of others who have a similar outlook on Peace Corps service and life. We contact each other weekly/daily about how life is going at site, what’s coming up, just life in general. Facebook and other social media apps make keeping in contact with others a whole lot easier than it was say 1998… I don’t think I would have survived PC circa late 90’s/early 00’s when technology was available, but oh so hard to access… especially in the developing world.

The best co workers on the planet

My favorite children at their favorite place

New friends are awesome too

Spaghetti with tomato sauce: Cooking in the Corps 1

September 2, 2018 Elle Peace Corps

Welcome to my first post in the series called Cooking in the Corps. By the end of the series, there will be [hopefully] a collection of 27 [see what I did there] recipes that I personally cooked in my kitchen either on the gas stove or the imbabura. A couple of these are of my own creation, but most are modified versions of dishes my fellow PCV Taylor taught me to cook.

Spaghetti with tomato sauce was my first meal at site. We were installed on a Thursday and this was Thursday night’s dinner [and Friday’s lunch]. Once the gas stove was set-up and tested, and once Peace Corps’ left, the first order of business, even before unpacking suitcases, making my bed, or any other essential task, was to fetch water and set about making the spaghetti sauce. I’d planned this meal from Kigali and acquired the vegetables needed while there so that there would be no difficulty in finding what I need. A hungry Michelle is not a happy Michelle and hungry Michelle makes snap decisions/judgments that a satiated Michelle would not make.

Tools Needed:

2 cooking pots
Non-stick skillet [or frying pan]
A heat source [I used a gas stove]
A sharp knife
A cutting board [preferable]
A stirring spoon of some sort

Ingredients:

1 kg of fresh tomatoes [diced]
1 onion [diced]
1 green pepper [diced]
6 cloves of garlic [diced]
1 small can of tomato paste
Spaghetti noodles [only what you can use at one time; noodles DO NOT keep well overnight]
Spices to taste [I used salt, pepper, oregano, and rosemary]
½ L of water
Bread
Parmesan cheese [if you’ve got it]
Butter or margarine
Red wine [about ½ cup if you have it, but totally not necessary]

Tomatoes, onion, bell pepper, and tomato paste… Add seasoning to your liking and you’ve got homemade spaghetti sauce… much healthier than anything from a can or jar

Directions:

Turn gas on and pour water in pot. Dice all vegetables and add to water. Add 2/3 of the garlic to vegetables. Add tomato paste to pot. Stir. Add about a tablespoon of salt and a teaspoon each of pepper, oregano, and rosemary. [Add more if the flavor isn’t to your liking]. Bring sauce to boil and reduce heat. Allow sauce to simmer for 15-20 minutes until water cooks out.

Bell peppers and onions cooking together before adding tomatoes

While sauce is simmering, add water to another pot. Break spaghetti in half and add to boiling water. Cook approximately 7-10 minutes until noodles are done. Drain water.

Pour noodles on plate.

Take one loaf of bread and cut lengthwise. Slather in butter and add garlic.

Put face down in fry

Super easy and super tasty.

Learning a language that will never be used again

August 12, 2018 Elle Featured Post Peace Corps

One week later…

On our second day in Rwanda, our group of 24 trainees was split into six groups, and I sat beside three other trainees watched our Language and Cultural Facilitators, act out a short dialogue.

They stood a few feet apart, facing away from each other, then turned around and began to walk slowly with their heads down, as if they were walking along a street. Then they make eye contact with each other and one, and upon doing so, one of them breaks into a wide smile and exclaimed “Muraho!” to his freind. On cue, after hearing this, the other also grinned and returned the word.

“Muraho!”

The dialogue then came to a quick end. Upon ending, each of our language teachers looked at our group inquisitively. “Iki ni iki?”. They continued to stare at us, in silence, waiting for someone to respond.

I stared right back not knowing what a ichie or a nichie was. I’m a little unusual in the fact that silence does not bother me. I can sit comfortably in a room full of people and never say a word. I attribute that to my psych background.

Our teachers, still smiling, said nothing but went back and repeated the little sketch, beat for beat. After saying Muraho! to each other again, they repeated their question: “Iki ni iki?”. The lightbulb then managed to click in someone’s [read: not my] mind. “Oh! They are just asking us what Muraho means.

Someone [read: not me] said “It means hello!”. We all nodded with recognition. Oh, so this is how language class in Peace Corps was going to go. I am so fucked…

“Yego!”, they said laughing.

As they continued, some of the smaller and more basic words were written down on flip chart paper [I never knew I could hate an object so incredibly much, but I’ve come to despise flip-chart paper], with their English definitions so we could reference them consistently.

Yego means yes.
Oya means no.
Iki means what.
Murabyumva means, do you understand?
Iki ni iki means, what is it/this?

On this first day, our little group buzzed with excitement. The teachers continued to act out small dialogues in lieu of telling us the words by didactic translation. They waved to each other and walked away, saying to each other “Mwirirgwe!”

Someone [again, read: not me] blurted out ‘goodbye?’ and correct guesses would be rewarded with an enthusiastic “Yego!” and wrong guesses earned a soft and disappointing “Oya…”.

“Amakuru?” means, how are you? We figured out slowly.

“Ni meza” means, I’m good.

“Wowe?” means, and yourself?

tiny Rwandan bananas; sometimes used to supplement breakfast — banana–a universal word in the Western hemisphere… In Rwanda it’s umuneke

One. Month. Later.

I have Double Language today. Double Language. Four straight hours. No snacks. Can’t I just get food poisoning for the day?

On a random morning about one month in, I thought this to myself as I walk to language class. The thought rattles around my mind with every step down the road. DoubleLanguage. DoubleLanguage.

No matter how many times I’ve mentioned that I’d prefer both fruit AND eggs for breakfast, I rarely get both. Some days it’s one or the other, and thankfully not all that often, it’s neither. Today, it just a piece of stale bread. Walking to my language teacher’s class, I kept thinking ‘no snacks today because double language…I need snacks because the stale sweet bread I got for breakfast just isn’t cutting it.‘

In the one short month I have been here, I have lost nearly 15 pounds and I have learned one thing: I need protein in order to function. And I need lots of protein to function optimally. And my Rwandan diet, has been lacking protein at almost every meal. As a result, I feel sluggish most of the time and randomly emotional. As every American knows, BREAKFAST is the most important meal of the day and why Rwandans think one piece of bread and tea is a proper breakfast is beyond me.

But here I am.

On the day with double language, my breakfast is stale sweet bread. And water. Prisoners get better food than this.

But like the semi time-conscious American I am, I arrive for DoubleLanguage right at 7:45am.

OK 7:50

I am here because the schedule says to be, and despite my proclivities for being a free-spirit and not planning anything, one thing I am not is late. At least not in Rwanda. Additionally, Peace Corps emphasizes in our training sessions to ‘Respect Time‘; however, none of my classmates nor the teacher are here. So I sit, in a plastic chair and nibble on my stale sweet bread, and drink my water…

Best to fuel up, I mumble to no one in particular.

By 8:00, my other classmates have arrived and my teacher begins asking questions. All in Kinyarwanda, of course.

The teacher asks ‘What did you eat for breakfast?’

I fumble, my brain searching for the right words. Oh…past tense… we haven’t learned that yet. Kurya… the verb for to eat… How do you conjugate it again?

M-fee-tay ke-ke na a-ma-zi….I sputter out and produce said cake and water as evidence that I do in fact HAVE cake and water…not that I was avoiding the question

And this is how every language class goes. We are asked questions. I translate what I think I hear from Kinyarwanda into English in my mind. Then I think of what vocabulary I actually have in order to answer the question, and do I have the ability to conjugate that verb correctly? Once I run through this scenario in my mind, I compose the sentence in Kinyarwanda and then sputter out an answer that could come from a 2-year old child.

Gusa? My teacher asks.

She wants me to expand on that phrase. Make it a sentence or preferably a paragraph.

“Donna-ni-way can-di da-shon-jay”, I answer, with a smirk. I am tired and I am hungry. All day every day, I am tired and hungry. One question down, four hours to go. Class has just begun, and it’s another two hours until there’s a break long enough to get snacks.

I could really go for a fruit salad right about now

Challenges

Not unsurprisingly, learning Kinyarwanda is considerably different from anything I’ve ever tried to learn in my life. I’ve always considered myself ‘decent’ at learning languages. I’m semi-fluent in Spanish and have safely navigated around using Portuguese, French, Romanian, German, and Russian in addition to English and Spanish. But Kinyarwanda is different… just listening to it makes my head spin. I’m six weeks in and I am still very much at an elementary level. I don’t need an exam to tell me that.

My host family has had 8 previous volunteers so they are used to speaking slowly and enunciating words properly and switching to French when I answer their questions with blank stares. Learning a language by immersion is exhausting. It takes a significant amount of mental energy, commitment, and time; and these three things are required every single day. After a long language session, I am exhausted…even more so than days requiring physical labor.

When I hear Kinyarwanda, I have a hard time understanding it. My language progress checks with my teachers also reflect this fact. [Mid LPI result on July 7, I scored Novice-Mid. Final PST LPI on August 7, I’m up to an Intermediate-Low, but don’t worry, we’ll be tested again in three months where I’m sure I’ll have the exact same level, because this language does.not.make.any.sense to me].

Speaking the language is also difficult, although I would argue it is not quite as difficult as listening. This is in large part because as a native English speaker the sentence structures, particularly of questions, are almost entirely backwards. In Kinyarwanda, question words almost always go at the end of sentences.

For instance, “Ukora iki”, means, what do you do?; but literally translates to “You do what?”. It is like that for just about everything. You are here why? This is what? The market is where? In addition to putting question words at the end, adjectives go after nouns; this is similar to Spanish. But when you put these two elements together, it forces your brain into cryptic problem solving mode anytime you have to say a sentence with any more than 5 words.

When I think to myself a moderately detailed sentence like, “What do your American friends like to do?”, my head spins. The question word goes to the end, there are plural words, there are possessive words, there is one adjective. It all goes completely out of what we would consider “order”: Inshuti wawe muri Amerika bakunda gukora iki? That translates literally to: Friends yours in America they like to do what? It’s a difficult puzzle to solve each and every time. Don’t forget to blend Gukora and Iki … or they’ll know you are not native Rwandan.

The words for things, and the lack of words for thing captures stark differences between American and Rwandan culture. There is no word for “Please”. You can just tell people to do things, and it’s not considered rude. At all. As evidenced by all the people coming up to me saying ‘Give me money.’ No please. Just declaring. And I will always think that it is rude. Cultural differences be damned.

Some of my favorite words to say are:

“Umudugudu” which means village. Oo-moo-doo-goo-doo.
‘Abakoreabushake‘ which means volunteers. A-ba-co-re-ra-bu-sha-che.
‘Ikigonderaubuzima’ which means health center post. Ichie-gon-der-a-u-bu-zima.
‘Nka Kibazo’ which means no problem, don’t worry about it… Naa che-ba-zo.
‘Tugende’ which is “Let’s go” too-gen-de

I’ve got two years, right?

I’m a stranger here myself

July 29, 2018 Elle Featured Post Peace Corps

What the actual F*ck am I doing here?

It’s a question I ask myself daily, sometimes hourly, and occasionally every few minutes. Even now, I don’t have a clear answer. I’m a stranger in an area used to having Peace Corps’ trainees. As long as I stick to main roads and predictable schedules, all is well. But when have I ever stuck to main roads and predictable schedules?

I have been in Rwanda two months and yet, I’m still a stranger. All of that time other than one week has been in our training village of Rwamagana, Eastern Province. Here we learn the Kinyarwanda language and learn how to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. How to be a volunteer? Yes, because as of now, I am still NOT a Peace Corps Volunteer, merely a lowly Peace Corps Trainee. The one week not spent in Rwamagana was spent visiting my site. Aka the place where I’ll arrive a stranger and leave a full-fledged villager [PC gaol for intergration]. Let me tell you, during that week I asked myself the above question about 100 times. A day.

After two months, I’m still a stranger in the host family I’ve been placed in. Truth is most evenings I’m ‘home’ alone. Host mom spends an ungodly amount of time at church. And host sis is a teenager doing teenager things. Which means not hanging around the American Adult who has kicked her out of her own bedroom.

What the actual f*ck am I doing here? y5rWhere the h*ll am I? Why isn’t there any food? How can I get the f*ck out of here? Why am I headed to yet another bar when I’ve told this person I don’t drink? Is it too late to go back to work at my [nice] job in America? The one with awesome co-workers? Or my house with my [oh-so-comfy] bed? Or my kitty cats? Why did I think becoming a Peace Corps volunteer was a good idea anyway?

One of the two sweet kitties I left behind–Hey Miss Lucy

My Peace Corps Journey

I considered applying to the Peace Corps when I was in high school. And then again after college. It was part of the reason I studied foreign languages in college. But as LIFE tends to do, it got in the way and I saw my immediate post-college years running away from a bad relationship [quite literally as I spent years 22 and 23 on the run in Mexico–and Belize–and Guatemala–and El Salvador…you get the drift] and then running towards a career [any career].

24 would have been the perfect time for me to join the Peace Corps. I was mostly unencumbered by responsibilities. I was nearly fluent in Spanish. I’d spent much of the last year and a half teaching English as as Second Language in various places to various groups of people. Aside from the political aspect [and while PC claims to be apolitical, an overwhelming majority of PCVs lean democratic. That’s neither good or bad; it’s just a fact], at 24, I was a Peace Corps’ poster child–a person with just enough life experience to still see the good in everyone and still want to save the world. I was a person unsure of my life and career goals. I was exactly the type of person that the Peace Corps seems to attract.

At this stage of my life, my 20’s have long passed [thankfully]. I am still about as apolitical as they come, and I while I have a career as a nurse, no one in their right mind would call me a professional do-gooder. I am as sure of my career and life goals as one can be when FATE is involved.

So what am I doing here and why I am I doing this exactly?

Well, it took me a long while to work that out.

I’ve written about that a couple of times already, but even though there are several contributing factors, at my core, I want to help people. And yes, I could ‘help people’ without putting my life on hold, and moving 7800 miles and three continents away, but where’s the adventure in that?

To date, I have traveled in 54 countries [although none in Africa until now], but never really lived in one area other than the upstate of South Carolina for a period longer than four months [except that one time, I moved to North Carolina, but my LIFE was still firmly ensconced in South Carolina.] My reasons are as varied as any other PCV’s reason are, and yes, at the end, I hope to get something tangible in exchange for my service.

My site seems to already know about permagarden techniques

Where is here? And Rwanda?

Well, it wasn’t my first choice….

But when was the last time you met anyone who has been to Sub-Sahara Africa, let alone lived there. I know a few people who have visited a handful of countries, mostly in East/Southern Africa. Not many people I know even consider Africa [as if it is one country instead of one rather large continent consisting of 54* individual countries] as a vacation destination. And Rwanda? If not for this opportunity, I can almost guarantee than I would have never set foot in the country. And I like to consider myself a traveler,and in my mind that means doing my best to experience the touristy parts of the world as well as places that are off grid. And in 2018, Rwanda is still off most people’s grid.

“I want to help people.”

And I really do want to help people. I’ve worked in healthcare for most of my adult life. If I didn’t truly want to ‘help people’ there are a lot of other, less strenuous, less soul-draining professions out there. Professions where I could make more money, have a better life-work balance, and not spend all hours of the night awake.

But American healthcare is complicated. The overwhelming majority of my co-workers want to ‘help people’. Yet we often know that whatever we do–whether it’s a life-saving measure in the Emergency Department or Continued Care in a Rehabilitation Department–it’s a stop-gap procedure. Yes, SOME people do GET IT. Some people see it the catalyst needed to do massive behaviour change. However, for the most part, Americans are repeat offenders in the health care system.

Now I’ll get my chance to work with patients who really want and need help. Of course, creating behavior change is still going to be hard.

Panoramic view of an area near my future house

Third Goal

One of PC’s central missions for each volunteer is to share their story with people in America. A blog or Instagram account is an easy way to do that. So is writing for the local paper or sharing my story in person. In addition to writing this blog, I’ll be doing a presentation in at least one elementary school classroom during my service.

Forth Goal

Ok, so there is no official 4th goal, but for me, joining Peace Corps’ is a way to slow down in inevitability of life. People say the older you get, the more time flies, and at this stage of life, I’m starting to see that. The pressure to settle down, get married, have a career is intense. Momentum is carrying me along and sometimes I can’t seem to stop it. Of course, there are less dramatic and more practical methods of changing habits and behaviors than moving to a remote Rwandan village for two years. But where would be the fun in that?

Stay. Don’t go.

June 3, 2018 Elle Love and life

Stay. Don’t go. That’s all I wanted to hear. We met for dinner one last time before I planned to leave. We met at our favorite pizza place. A place we’d been probably a hundred times before. A place I haven’t been since. All I wanted was to hear you say “Stay with me.” Those words never came.

I heard the litany of excuses. “We’ll be together when you come back.” “I don’t want to hold you back.” “You were meant for this.” “If I tell you not to go, you’ll resent me later on” [OK that one might be true]. While I heard it all, I still wanted you to just say ‘Stay’.

In some ways, this was the sequel. The final installment in the story of us. We’ve done this dance and played this film so many times before, I should have been prepared for the ending.

I wasn’t.

Tears fell as I pulled away. Amazingly, I held it together as you kissed me and told me to go be amazing. I stared into your green-gray eyes, imploring you to say something. But you didn’t. And I can still see you standing there as I drive away.

I waited for your call that never came. I packed my bags with tears running down my face. My last night at home surrounded by friends was amazing.. I noticed you weren’t there. Tears happened on the way to the airport. And again at check in. But once I got on the plane, everything was OK. Traveling was familiar- like an old friend welcoming me back. It envelopes me like a favorite, much too big sweatshirt. Everything feels new and exciting, and that feeling is a comfort to me.

I called you after our first day of training. It was boring as most trainings are, but when you told me you heard an excitement in my voice that’s being missing, you knew you made the right decision. “I was so close to saying ‘Why can’t you stay?’ I’m glad I didn’t because this is what you were meant to do”

I melted. Probably died a little too. I would have stayed. And maybe you knew that too. And in a random act of selflessness, you told me to go change the world. Or at least a corner of it.

After so long together, I thought I knew you like the back of my hand. Turns out, I hardly knew you at all.

adventureadikt